Hell's Kitchen
Hell's Kitchen

Episode Report Card
Daniel: C+ | 106 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
We Paid to See Penn and Teller, Dammit

Justin has a charred filet mignon with a butter-poached lobster and a glazed carrot dressing. "I like it," says Puck. Christina counters with a pan-roasted filet, haricots verts (sounds classier than "green beans") and gorgonzola mashed potatoes. "Not bad. Mmmm!" says Puck.

He thinks they both did a fantastic job, and once we get through the commercial break, we see that he's having a hard time making a choice. For the presentation alone, he would pick Justin, he says, but for taste, he'd go with Christina (which to me makes the choice obvious, but I'm no Wolfgang Puck). Ramsay urges him to make a decision, and Wolfgang decides to go with taste and picks Christina.

And since Justin lost, he's dismissive of the contest, calling it "preseason" and that tomorrow is really the contest and Christina had better watch out. "I have what it takes and I've never been so determined in my life," he says.

After that, it's back to the hangar with Ramsay's but before they go back to L.A. there's one more thing they need to do: pick their team from the gang of arseholes eliminated before them: Dana, Barbie, Clemenza, Robyn, Brian, Kimmie, Royce and Patrick. Christina alludes to the real important part of picking your squad: avoiding the people who will sink your chances rather than help you. "Their future lies in your hands," Ramsay tells them.

Robyn sulks that she wasn't surprised to see Christina and Justin in the final, but she's not going to jump up and down about it. It's cute that Robyn thinks anyone might care if she'd jump up and down for Christina and Justin.

Since Christina won the challenge, she gets first pick. Even better, she's not stuck with last pick. Big surprise, she goes for Dana first. "We're only, like, best friends," Dana reminds us. Also, "She's awesome, I'm awesome."

Man, I'm not going to record the bullshit little reasons Justin and Christina give for each pick, I'm just going to give you the teams in order of selection: Christina: Dana, Patrick, Kimmie and Robyn. Justin: Barbie, Brian, Royce and Clemenza. The last pick is dragged out beyond all reason, although to be fair to Christina, she's trying to decide whether she wants fast and annoying or slow and good. Eventually she goes with Robyn, and Clemenza's pissed that he's the last pick. "If you don't like me, fuck you," he tells us, and Ramsay stokes it a little bit by giving him a high-five and saying he didn't expect Clemenza to be picked last. Clemenza's all, "I know!"

Hell's Kitchen

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