Hell's Kitchen
20 Chefs Compete

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B- | 3 USERS: B-
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20 Chefs Compete

"After ten electrifying years, Hell's Kitchen is breaking all the rules," we're told, as though there's some sort of governing authority with an official rulebook. The promos do their best to make it seem like this year's crop of foul-mouth foodies actually risk their lives to compete. Also, there's a puppet. None of the promos have to do with cooking skill, unfortunately. "But to win, they'll have to survive the most punishing Hell's Kitchen EVER." Also, there will be paintball.

Seven AM., LAX. The new chefs arrive. Barret, 35, a head chef, used to be in Rancid, apparently. Susan, 29, a "culinary student," may not have any experience, but she doesn't "do mediocre" and she doesn't "do failure" so winning Hell's Kitchen is the only option. Nedra, 24, kitchen manager is going to "knock the competition clean out the box." Ray, 51, executive chef, talks about old school versus new school, and you guess which one his old ass belongs to. Zach, 34, head line cook, in his hipster-chef costume of beard, glasses and po' boy cap, yells, "Let's doooo it!"

We meet more of the contestants as the Hell's Kitchen bus takes the gang through L.A. Jessica, 25, chef tournant, just wants to make a good first impression on Chef Ramsay (cue pretty-girl pose and harp sting). Anthony, 27, line chef, is super-excited to see Hell's Kitchen.

So everyone is confused when the bus heads into the left-hand airport return lane. Dan, 27 -- his ears stuck on from a Mr. Potato Head set -- wants to know what the fuck is going on. It's always fun when this show is padded out with the contestants explaining they were wondering what's going on. Then a Ramsay video comes on the bus's television, telling them that L.A. is not their final destination. He wants them to come to him right now, and he's in -- the camera pulls back -- Las Vegas. Everyone in the bus goes berserk, especially Jacqueline, 27, a roundsman. I don't even know what half these job titles are! Their plane -- or let's be real, stock footage of a plane -- lifts off from L.A. and takes us into the opening credits, which is some sort of Transformer Terminator nightmare hellscape pitting the contestants against rampaging kitchen equipment turned into maniacal robots, the last of which is, naturally, Ramsay.

Vegas! The cheftestants are greeted by showgirls, and Anthony and Dan in particular seem to think the dancers are there to have sex with them. I presume we'll see footage of these two down on the strip later collecting escort cards? They take a double-decker bus through Vegas and take in the sights. Nedra apparently is already pissed at this "crazy bitch Gina," who is a full-blooded Sicilian who demands her competition respect her, or something.

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Hell's Kitchen

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