Hell's Kitchen
Hell's Kitchen

Episode Report Card
Montykins: A- | 943 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Polenta Tower!

Gordon Ramsay's Bleep-O-Fucking-Meter: 16
Contestants' Bleep-O-Fucking-Meter: 11
Number of times you have to type "risotto" before it starts to look really weird: Just one, really.

Okay! Top four! The best chefs of the season! Dave! Kevin! Tennille! Um ... oh, right: Ariel!

Tennille seems kind of surprised that she's still here, and shouts at us about how she's beaten thirteen people. Kevin is very confident, because one of his opponents has only one hand, and the other two are ... girls, I guess.

When the chefs arrive in the dining room for their morning challenge, Gordon Ramsay is up in his office, apparently stomping back and forth yelling at someone. We can hear him, but all we see is his silhouette. It's clear that something is up, but I admit that I was not expecting it to be a small child, stomping around like Gordon Ramsay. He runs through the usual Gordon Ramsay repertoire of calling them donkeys and delivering clearly scripted insults, but it's more fun than usual. Because it's a kid.

The real Ramsay shows up and replaces Mini-Ramsay. First, he delivers the news that "There's no bigger pain anywhere in the world than a vegetarian." Chef Ramsay wants people to just shut up and eat whatever he gives them, I think. But he recognizes that you have to give the people what they want, so the challenge will be to make an amazing vegetarian dish. The chefs have one hour to make eighty portions. Yikes. Okay, go!

Kevin starts off on an Asian style mushroom crepe with beet carpaccio while explaining to us that he is very comfortable making large amounts of food. Tennille is doing a vegetable-stuffed eggplant with rice. She doesn't say exactly what vegetables she's stuffing in there, which I find worrying. Ariel is also using eggplant in her vegetarian lasagna, which will also include tofu and fresh mozzarella. And Dave is making a polenta tower with roasted peppers. Is "polenta tower" a thing, or is it just a way of describing his plan to make it tall and skinny?

We see Dave having trouble with his broken wrist. He knocks something off the counter, then ducks into the pantry so no one can see him in agony. Then he's right back out there chopping tomatoes with one hand. When it comes time to plate, he has trouble separating the plastic plates. No one actually has all eighty portions ready when the time runs out, but surely they can finish plating while the first few are being grabbed.

Hell's Kitchen

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