Hell's Kitchen
Hell's Kitchen

Episode Report Card
Montykins: A- | 943 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Polenta Tower!

The customers arrive! They are eighty screaming children! Led by mini-Ramsay! And Ramsay delivers the twist: "They don't like vegetables!" Oh no! That's pretty funny, actually. So the question is: which chef made a vegetarian dish that even a vegetable-hating child would like? Nice twist! Also, I haven't been mentioning the custom-made CGI commercial bumpers, but I enjoy this one where cutting an eggplant open reveals the Hell's Kitchen logo.

Dave is a little worried, because he doesn't work well with children. Oh, that's right! Remember how he couldn't even talk straight to the Bon Appetit staff? Tennille is also worried, because what kind of kid wants to eat "stuffed eggplant"? "I'm 28! I just started liking eggplant!" she shouts. And she's got a good point.

Chef Ramsay welcomes the children, and does not appear to tell them it's all vegetables. The chefs are not ready for everyone, so the kids start chanting "We want food!" Ah, they're such adorable little monsters at that age, aren't they? Tennille is valiantly trying to put her rice in little molds and put just the right amount of sauce on each plate, but Ramsay points out that the kids probably don't care, and she should just start getting the food on the plates as quickly as possible. So she switched into "cafeteria lady" mode. Dave interviews, "The kids were chanting 'We want food!' and I was like 'I've got food! But ... you're not gonna like it.'" That's the spirit! When Dave gets his food out to the kids, he decides to call it a "sandwich" instead of a "polenta tower", which sounds like the right decision to me. He also calls himself "the one-armed bandit" and tells the kids they're cute in a craven attempt to endear himself to them.

Ariel admits that she lucked out with her lasagna, because it's colorful and contains cheese. Kevin has straight vegetarian food, and thinks he'll be unstoppable if he can pull it off.

Now we get to see the adorable little moppets gagging and spitting out their food. They have forms to fill out, which ask (in Comic Sans) which food was the yummiest, and which was the yuckiest. Also, one of them has drawn a stick figure of Chef Ramsay shouting. Unless that was done by an adult who snuck it into the show.

Hell's Kitchen

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