Hell's Kitchen

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: D- | Grade It Now!
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Take One Down, Pass It Around

We're down to our top four! The best four chefs they could find! And that's somehow Holli, Jay, Autumn and Benjamin. Go figure. And we've also finally reached the day MasterChef is debuting, so we don't have two episodes tonight. Only one hour of Hell's Kitchen? I could do that in my sleep! And if things don't start picking up, I just might.

Gordon Ramsay's Bleep-O-Fucking-Meter: 31
Contestants' Bleep-O-Fucking-Meter: 25
Crazy "Gotcha!" Swerves at the End of the Episode: 2

Coming out of the kitchen, I think Autumn tells Ben she's glad he's still there. It's either her or Holli. When Jay and Ben hit the patio, they take a moment to say that they like Jason, but that he's not as passionate as them. And then they resolve to beat the ladies. To make them look silly. Ben is confident that he's the best cook left. We'll see.

Roll call. Gordon Ramsay tells the chefs that he'll be cooking for them. As he says this, the picture suddenly switches from widescreen to 4:3. That's weird. Then there's an echo as it cuts back to normal. I'm sorry to dwell on a random technical glitch, but it's more interesting to me than someone undercooking risotto or overcooking scallops. Anyway! Gordon shows them a big monkfish, which he proceeds to skin and fillet before frying. Everyone's watching carefully, because they know there's a pretty good chance they'll have to recreate it. And they also dutifully suck up to Gordon Ramsay, telling him how great the dish looks.

Sure enough, it is a dish recreation challenge. But! Instead of cooking it themselves, they'll have to teach some bachelors with no cooking experience. Jay points out that Ben is a culinary instructor, which seems like the ideal background. Also, Jay is sad that the bachelors are cool dudes instead of hot chicks. Holli doesn't mind the dudes.

Everyone splits up. It turns out that barking "grab that and take it to your station" doesn't work when you're talking to people who don't know where their stations are. That's not really the bachelors' fault, though. Holli's guy puts a pepper on the grill, but the grill isn't on. Jay's guy has trouble opening the knife case, and Jay takes some time in an interview to sneer about the guy having a diamond in his ear. I may not have mentioned it, but Jay has blue hair. I have no objection to blue hair personally, but I do think it means you don't get to mock other people's sartorial affectations. Holli's guy is grossed out by the raw fish, so she flirts with him to get him to shut up and do it.

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Hell's Kitchen

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