Hell's Kitchen
5 Chefs Compete

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: C- | Grade It Now!
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The Risotto Wizard

Gordon Ramsay's Bleep-O-Fucking-Meter: 58
Contestants' Bleep-O-Fucking-Meter: 28
How Many of the Five Contestants Montykins Now Hates: All five!

So, Van's gone. That must be why it seems so quiet as everyone files back to the dorms. Dave is outraged that Tennille sold Van out to Gordon, although you'd think everyone would have noticed that Gordon sends home whoever he feels like regardless of who's nominated. Tennille and Dave are both outraged and stomp off while Kevin stays out of it. Meanwhile, Suzanne and Ariel are also stressing out.

The next morning, the five remaining chefs line up in the dining room for the first individual challenge. It's about focusing on presentation, and the judging will be done by Gordon and the editorial staff of Bon Appetit magazine. They'll be ranking the dishes purely on presentation, then the top two will be tasted by Gordon and the Editor-in-Chief, Barbara Fairchild. Okay, cook!

Kevin decides to make a Caribbean sea bass. Suzanne has a calamari salad, which draws low-key disdain from Dave, who's making a rack of lamb. Ariel's got a prosciutto-wrapped John Dory. Tennille has an "Asian-inspired red snapper". I'm sorry, but when you put the word "Asian" that close to "red snapper", all I can think of is this video clip. Unfortunately, her fish looks terrible, so she's forced to cover it with vegetables and hope no one notices. In this presentation challenge. Good luck!

The editorial staff (all eight of them) give the dishes a good eyeballing. Dave locks up and can only describe his dish as "a pan-seared, um, red and yellow, um ..." Complete vapor lock. The dishes are ranked and Gordon announces the results. Tennille is fifth and Suzanne is fourth ("My dish was a piece of art. But whatever!"). Kevin is first, because Gordon firmly believes that announcing things in a random order enhances the drama. Ariel is second, and that means Dave is third and out of the running. Time for the tasting!

Kevin explains to us that "it comes down to which one tastes the best". That'll make a nice twist. The winner is ... both of them! Gordon Ramsay spits on your "rules"! Kevin and Ariel will be going to a photo shoot with Gordon and Barbara and their dishes will be featured in the magazine. They seem pretty happy about this, and why wouldn't they? And the punishment for the three losers is to go clean a stretch of road that Hell's Kitchen has adopted. Dave vows that "If I have to hear Tennille bitching, I'll lose my mind." Noted. Dave, Suzanne, and Tennille are sent upstairs to get their road-cleaning jumpsuits. Yes, they're orange. And they have to ride a prison bus to get to their road. Of course, they're the only three on it, so we're still keeping to the Hell's Kitchen Wasteful Transportation Ethos.

The road-cleaning chefs are not happy with their task, nor do they like each other. Meanwhile, Gordon welcomes Kevin and Ariel to a beachside hotel for their photoshoot. The losers have to clean the front steps of Hell's Kitchen itself so that when the winners come back, they walk right over the red carpet while Tennille's trying to steam-clean it. Tennille is taking this punishment really personally. She should be glad she was allowed outside for this one. Meanwhile, Dave appears to have injured his wrist while sweeping. The bad wrist, not the good wrist. The one in the plaster. As Dave lies on his bed, Kevin stops by to talk about how much damage he could be doing to his wrist and how he might be jinxed. Kevin thinks Dave should consider dropping out. He's clearly suggesting this because he thinks Dave has a chance of winning, but he's not doing it in a jokey, nudge-nudge way. He's seriously trying to convince Dave that he's just a concerned friend. Dave doesn't appear to be buying it, but it's hard to tell with Dave. He's a taciturn dude.

The next day, or anyway a day, everyone's doing prep. Kevin plans to make a big deal out of doing everyone's job for them. That sounds pleasant for everyone. Chef Ramsay lines everyone up to talk about determination and also to insist on perfection. Then he demands high-fives, so you know he's ... serious? Is that what high fives mean now?

The menu for the night has the two winning dishes from the challenge, so there might be some sea bass and John Dory around the place. Whatever will they do without Van the Magic Fish Cook?

JP brings the first order into the kitchen with a muttered (and subtitled, because he says it in French) "Hurry up". Dave's on cold appetizers, Tennille's on hot appetizers, and Suzanne is on fish. Dave takes this opportunity to ask if there are any new cold apps he needs to know, and Tennille believes that he must be a [bleep] idiot. I agree that he should probably have asked that before the dinner service started. But since there aren't, he should be fine. Both the new dishes will be Suzanne's problem, I guess.

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Hell's Kitchen

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