Hell's Kitchen

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: A+ | Grade It Now!
Everybody Rotate!

You know, I've used a lot of scrap paper marking down how many curse words Gordon and the Dopes have used in each episode. I haven't thrown any of it away because someday the Montykins Library is going to want this stuff.

Gordon Ramsay's Bleep-O-Fucking-Meter: 35
Contestants' Bleep-O-Fucking-Meter: 36
Super-Obscure Reference I Decided Not To Make About Six Times: SWITCH! (jimmysmits)

After last episode's elimination, Jay, Jason and Ben whine about Autumn still being around. Autumn figures that all she can do is just keep cooking. I think that's correct. But it's challenge time! Everyone gets whooshed away to a farmer's market, where Gordon lectures them about the importance of budgets and portion control. Each chef gets ten dollars and ten minutes to collect ingredients.

Jay considers himself good at controlling costs. Ben knows the buzzwords about "fresh foods" and "keeping it simple." Holli looks a little lost. About half the items on the shelves are blurred out. Autumn comes in at $9.99, which is pretty impressive.

Back at the kitchen, people are cooking. Jason's strategy is "win." But Autumn is skeptical about his store-bought ravioli. Everything gets plated, and it's time for the guest judges: Joaquim Splichal (a million restaurants), Dana Bowen (editor of Saveur magazine) and Very Lakusta (General Manager of Gordon's LA restaurant). They'll taste each dish and decide how much they'd pay at a restuarant. Okay, go!

Jay has a lamb crusted in fried pita bread. Everyone loves the pita, and they're impressed with how little he spent. The judges say it's a $28.66 dish. That's an average; it's not like they're doing this to the penny. Moving on! Jason has a pan-seared tilapia and has to cop to purchasing the ravioli. He's doomed. The average price is $16.

Ben has a seared lamb chop. He allows Joaquim to lead him into claiming that his dish is about the South of France, but then it turns out that he should have cooked the vegetables together if he was going for ratatouille. The vegetables are a little undercooked. His average price is $25, and he's cranky about it.

Autumn, who is always delighted when Benjamin fails, brings up her take on a New England Boil. It looks good and there's a giant veal chop on the plate. Her average is $27.33. She's not ahead of Jay, but she's happy with beating Benjamin, adding "Suck on these!" Classy.

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Hell's Kitchen




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