Hell's Kitchen
5 Chefs Compete Again

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All Elise Is Saying Is Give Elise a Chance

So it was a good night in Hell's Kitchen. You can tell because Ramsay is smiling as he says "Get out of here" and doesn't add "Fuck off" like he usually does, which amounts to a goodnight kiss.

Back in the dorm, everyone has a good laugh at Jennifer's crush on Paul, which appears to somehow survive even as Paul's lifting of his jacket to massage his own nipple, whatever THAT'S supposed to be. Paul can't just say he's not into Jennifer but talks about how she's from Boston and how his dream girl would be a Jets fan. Well, there's something to be said for being polite, I suppose, but I suspect this has more to do with Paul being a coward.

There is some talk of the confidence the Black team is supposed to have after defeating a team of a bunch of other failed contestants. Yeah, I'm not sure how that's supposed to work either. The next morning, Ramsay tells them, "Chefs become heroes when they're able to take an ingredient and turn it into something with incredible value, right?" This tortured, nonsensical premise is really just a lead-in to Ramsay talking about having an Alaskan white salmon fall from the sky -- and one does, plopping right onto the table in front of him, hopefully causing little pants-shitting. (Except for Elise, because I think it would do her some good.)

Ramsay talks about the price of the salmon versus how many portions it contains and the price of each portion translating into profit, a basic calculation that appears to go right over Elise's head, which to be fair is only about four feet off the ground. Anyway! The point of this challenge is to garner the highest price for their piece of Alaskan salmon, and they have thirty minutes to do it. Jennifer in particular seems to be lost, poaching the fish with the skin off, which Will tells us is a no-no.

So the dishes are plated, and Ramsay trots out his judges: the general manager of Nobu L.A., Justin Wyborn; the general manager of Providence, Donato Poto; and the maitre d' of Mr. Chow. The names of the restaurants if not the men themselves appear to spark some recognition in our contestants, who clap dutifully. Will says it's awesome to show these judges what he's about. He will be simmering his salmon in a broth of cigarette ash and baseball cap brim.

Will's up first. The judges are to estimate the price they'd expect to see each dish go for on a menu, and then they'll average that out. Will's pan-roasted his fish with a potato and garlic stew. Skin a little crispy, a little salty, but overall pretty good. The judges estimate the price of his dish to be $30, $28 and $28. It's a little fishy, if you'll pardon the expression, that the judges aren't writing these down in secret instead of the third judge getting a chance to hear what the first two guys say, but no one ever said Hell's Kitchen had to be fair. Average price is $28.67.

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Hell's Kitchen

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