Hell's Kitchen
6 Chefs Compete

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Daniel: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Listen All Y'all, It's a Sabotage!

For the ten-minute dishes, Will has made lemon-seared Santa Barbara prawns. Will tells us he came to win, which he seems to think is some kind of revolutionary thinking, so everyone should consider him the biggest threat (he considers himself his biggest threat, after all). Ramsay says his dish is cooked beautifully, but the vegetables are too garlicky. I didn't know there was such a thing as too garlicky! Elise has spicy calamari with a tomato pepper sauce. Ramsay likes the heat, but says the calamari is undercooked, which means the victory goes to... Blue Team. Elise starts crying, which is kind of nice. "Oh, look at that face," sneers Ramsay.

The Blue Team's reward is a shopping spree at Ted Baker of London. That guy made my glasses! Will's so excited he plans to put on the world's worst British accent (he doesn't say it, he just demonstrates it) and pimp out some Chef Ramsay clothes.

Before he bundles the Blue Team off in their limo, though, Ramsay explains that tonight's service is a very special black-tie affair: just two tables of twelve people apiece, and each kitchen will serve a six-course meal. Of course Red's going to have to prep both kitchens and rearrange the dining room, and Elise looks like she's going to cry the entire time. "Stop crying," says a disgusted Ramsay as the teams head off to their respective fates. Jesus, for real. Try not to cry in front of a man who was kidnapped and doused in gasoline by shark poachers, for god's sake.

Naturally Blue Team struts through the kitchen, with Jennifer telling them she accepts gifts. In the limousine, the guys make utter asses of themselves, with Paul yelling, "I'm rich, bitch!" out the window, at which point Will pretends like he's about to anally rape Paul with the champagne bottle. "I'm a big deal. That's just common sense," says Paul.

Back at Hell's Kitchen, Red Team is having a difficult time lifting the table. "Do they not have muscles?" Jennifer asks us in exasperation.

We move on from the "annoying jagoffs in a limo" to "annoying jagoffs in a clothing store," with Will proclaiming, "I don't know how to shop. I have a wife. She shops for me." Does she shop anywhere other than Backwards Baseball Cap Planet? We know she doesn't shop at Razor World. Tommy announces, to no one's surprise, that he wears his leather vest every day. It probably smells great! The saleswoman calls it "stylin'" and Tommy is pretty chuffed about that, because he forgets that salespeople are SUPPOSED to pretend to like you.

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Hell's Kitchen

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