And now Will and Paul are oh-so-charmingly pretending to be gay, and Tommy and the saleswoman erupt in guffaws, and then Tommy is buying his "gal" a dress while flirting with the saleswoman and checking out her breasts under the pretence of trying to figure out what size his "gal" is. Before he buys the dress, he might want to check to make sure his girlfriend's high school doesn't just have uniforms. "Tell Ted I said hello," Will tells the saleswomen as the doofuses gather up their bags.
Back at Hell's Kitchen, Red Team has made some progress. "This table looks blingin'," says Elizabeth, possibly the whitest thing I have ever heard. Then there is this ridiculous fight over candlesticks? And it's due to Elise? Who can even fucking tell anymore. And Jennifer implies that she wants to stick a candlestick up Elise's ass, so there's some kind of insertion theme in tonight's episode.
The men come back, with Tommy douchily handing over a handkerchief he got for the Red Team for them to cry into when they lose tonight.
And it's on to the dinner: Each chef is going to be responsible for two courses. Red Team's working out a plan of attack, because it's still difficult for one chef to make up twelve plates (times two) and then Elizabeth thinks Elise is attacking her for not being able to help with the risotto when I think Elise was actually just going over the plan. Elizabeth tells us Elise is fucking with the wrong person, which is a strong statement to make for someone who shriveled up with a thousand sorrys during last night's dinner service. What is her plan, to apologize Elise to death? Elise hilariously declares for the umpteenth time that if this is how it's going to be, she's going to just look out for herself from now on. It's almost sweet the way she expects us to believe she's been unselfish up to whenever she makes that statement.
Ramsay's pep talk: He's going to use this service to decide who deserves the black jacket. "If this doesn't motivate us, I don't know what else will," Jennifer tells us, and then Paul talks about the cream rising to the top. (That would be him.)
The guests arrive; they've contributed a combined total of $3 million to the American Cancer Society and the American Humane Association. "Now I'm getting nervous," says Elizabeth.
Anyway: Elizabeth's up for twelve orders of scallops. Her face is already in "I'm about to be murdered" mode as she starts firing the scallops. Ramsay wonders why no one's helping her, so Elise jumps in.