Hell's Kitchen

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: C | Grade It Now!
And Please! Make It Extra Poached!

In the red kitchen, Paula is looking for a chinois (which Wikipedia helpfully informs me is a conical sieve with an extremely fine mesh). Giovanni can't help her. Since Chef Ramsay is in their kitchen, she asks him if he could find them a chinois. "I could find you a chinois? [bleep] yourself, woman. Yeah. Would you like a latte?" Andrea claims that it was embarrassing, but she looks more gleeful.

All the chefs are done and quickly taste each others' dishes. Ben thinks Danny's dish isn't crunchy enough. Carol doesn't like Andrea's dish because it has crab shells on the plate, which are not edible and feels that Paula's looks the best. Ben interviews about how awesome he thinks he is. Robert interviews that he loved Ben's combination of vanilla and crab, and Danny goes along with the majority opinion although he personally prefers his own dish. The red team comes down to Paula or Andrea's dish, and Paula steps back because Andrea is so insistent on her own.

So it's Andrea's dish versus Ben's. Andrea's has two king crab legs lightly dusted with macadamia nut and asparagus, with a pear-infused butter. Gordon thinks it doesn't look glamorous. Ben (in an interview) thinks it looks like "a crab with the runs". Do crabs get the runs? I would have thought they'd get the scuttles. Chef Ramsay does not care for the crab shells on the plate and mocks them for a few minutes before giving them back to Andrea as earrings. She looks deflated. Chef Ramsay declares that it looks a mess and that it's bland and disgusting. Ben, you're up! His dish is on a square white plate (which, as we all know, makes things taste better) and looks like some orange and green hieroglyphics. Ben goes into way too much detail about how he cooked the crab. I can tell you there was butter involved. Chef Ramsay points out that there's only two things on the plate; how complicated could it have been? Anyway, the presentation is nice, but it's just king crab and asparagus on a plate. Gordon feels that it doesn't have the "Wow Factor" and declares that he is disappointed in everybody. Uh oh! Daddy's mad!

Gordon tells Danny and Paula to bring their dishes up. Paula's is a basil-coconut broth and has the sense to mention that she kept the crab "very clean". I don't think Ben quite realized Gordon Ramsay's objections to over-prepared food. Paula looks at Andrea and radiates smugness when Gordon says her dish is delicious. Danny poached his crab in Madeira and it's also delicious. Chef Ramsay emphasizes that Danny and Paula did exactly what he asked and asks why those two dishes didn't come up first. Danny mumbles something about the consensus of the group. And the winner is [break for commercial, and when we come back, the helicopter shot lets me see the outside section the chefs hang out in] the blue team! Exclamation point! Andrea is radiating anger. The red team will clean the dorms and then cook and clean all the crabs for the next night's service. The winning team will be having "the most amazing day" with Gordon on the beach in Santa Monica. Ben and Robert say stupid things in interviews which I choose to ignore. Then the blue team is sent off to get ready for their limo. On the way to the dorm, all three of them do a little jig.

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Hell's Kitchen




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