Hell's Kitchen

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: C | Grade It Now!
And Please! Make It Extra Poached!

Chef Ramsay lectures the red team and particularly Andrea. Robert purposely leaves his underwear out, which Andrea finds gross. Well, I can see where she's coming from on that. Going out to the limo, Danny, Robert and Ben are all dressed in their civilian clothes and look ridiculous. They also do a little dance, which does not help. They look like idiots. Then they pile into their Hummer limo and we cut to the beach. Gordon zooms up on a Segway. Interesting fact: it is impossible to look dignified on a Segway. So now Ben and Danny are also on Segways, and I assume that Gordon is racing them. And I wouldn't put it past him to have their Segways set so they can't go as fast as his. Robert is on a bicycle because the Segways have a weight limit. Gordon takes a turn too fast and falls over onto the sand. He's not wearing a helmet, which I believe he's supposed to be. Danny and Ben are.

Voiceover: "Back at the dorms, it's no day at the beach for the red team." They're extravagantly whiny about cleaning up. Have these people never cleaned a toilet before? Andrea complains about smelly socks. Meanwhile, the blue team is eating lobster. Andrea interviews that "working with Carol is like working with a five-year-old. She's always got something to bitch about." Then we cut to Andrea complaining about the size of the king crabs, followed by Carol interviewing that Andrea never shuts up. The blue team returns and talks about their reward and generally annoys the red team. When the blue team leaves, we are meant to believe that the red team is furious because they are pounding the crabs with hammers. Hey, that's how you get crabs open even when you're in a good mood.

Before the night's dinner service, Chef Ramsay tells the teams that they'll be setting their own menus tonight, so they have to come up with three appetizers, three entrees and three desserts. Fine dining! And include some crab!

The teams return to the dorms and gather in front of those big flip-chart notepads you use for brainstorming. We cut back and forth between the teams as they say pretty much the same things. I enjoy the way Ben starts talking before he's come up with an idea: "I'm thinking halibut, gentlemen [this is where he wants to sound like a businessman in a meeting -- you can imagine someone shouting "I'm thinking halibut, gentlemen!" and pounding on his desk] and I think if we go ahead and take a halibut and we really try and go out there and do a method, say for instance, a shallow poach..." Robert interviews that poached halibut makes him think of a rich fuddy-duddy. Ben interviews that Robert and Danny aren't as refined as he is, and then there's a scene where everyone uses the term "pomme fondant" many times, even though no one appears to know what it means. Robert interviews that he wouldn't order this nonsense and they immediately cut to him saying that the menu sounds fine. Neither Danny nor Robert seems that into the menu that Ben has settled on. But both menus are done, so it's time to prep!

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Hell's Kitchen




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