Hell's Kitchen
8 Chefs Compete

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: B | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
You Say Potato, I Say Egg Yolk?

I'm covering for the expert Daniel this week. Unlike Daniel, I still find watching the pinball title sequence much like those dreams where I'm at school in my underwear. This ridiculous spectacle embarrasses me. I mean, why? I have clothes. Why aren't I wearing them? Seriously, these people have to scream and fall down and act like pinballs are chasing them and THEY ARE CHEFS. It's like asking people on Project Runway to play baseball. That said, I never skip them either. It's like I'm a cutter or something.

Last we met, Jamie got sent home for burning the zucchini. Even though the Red Team had nominated Carrie and Elise, because they ruin everything. I don't get it. Wait, I do. Carrie and Elise make really great TV. Chefs? Let's just say, BLT Steak is in trouble. Unless they both win and have to work together, in which case, birthday party location.

Chef Ramsay sends the contestants to bed. Carrie talks all sort of shiz in an interview about how badly she wants this and how she's going to win this now, even though she has never been different for even one tiny moment of this entire competition. Jesus Christ, that girl has zero capacity for learning. Jennifer is apoplectic. Elise and Elizabeth agree with her, but she's not listening. She says that she's working with the Three Stooges now and she's pretty correct.

The next day, they gather for the challenge and Chef Ramsay says it's his favorite: Eating shit. Wait, no, it's a blind taste test. They all act like they're very excited. They wear blindfolds and headphones, as to not hear what kind of food is in front of them. Tommy and Carrie have to eat anchovies. Tommy guesses sardines. Carrie guesses salmon. Then, they get carrots. Tommy guesses radish. Weird. Elizabeth really laughs at that one. She's an idiot, no? Carrie gets it right, which is met by non-hateful applause from Elise. These two are secretly in love, I just know it. Then, they get egg yolk. Tommy guesses potato. What? I'm sorry, please someone call the paramedics, Tommy is clearly having a stroke right now. Carrie guesses egg, but Ramsay wants something more specific and she guesses hard boiled egg. Nope. Then, they get mango. Tommy recovers and guesses correctly. Carrie guesses strawberry and Ramsay's all, "What?" Really though, you taste the most basic fruit and guess one of the more acidic? Why don't they have clips on their noses? Smelling food gives a lot more away than hearing it.

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Hell's Kitchen

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