Hell's Kitchen
8 Chefs Compete

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: B | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
You Say Potato, I Say Egg Yolk?

Chef Ramsay says that, since they are competing to be head chef at a steak house, for the next dinner service they are going to become a steak house. He wants a homemade jam to accompany desserts. So, the blue team is going to have to sort, wash, deseed and peel 200 pounds of grapes. Ouch.

The red team goes to the base of the Hollywood Hills and is greeted by James, the maƮtre d', on horseback. That guy. Jennifer thinks that James looks like a natural. A horse pees in front of the girls and everything is dramatic. They have a lovely meal at the top of the hills. Meanwhile, the poor Blue Team is miserable with those grapes. Will says he wants to stab himself just for a change of pace. Tommy tells a joke -- Q: What do you call a purple gorilla? A: A grape ape. Natalie loses just a little bit more of her sanity at that moment.

Carrie gets drunk on the hill and, of course, all the women have tons to say about it. We're apparently missing the part where Carrie is seriously just fucking up everyone's lives. Aside from her fighting with Elise, she shares the same incompetency as everyone else and I really don't understand the big deal. The Blue Team gets loopy, but it looks like they're getting along rather well. Except Natalie is not having anymore of Tommy's grape jokes. In fact, she's not having any more grapes. She starts throwing them on the floor and screaming about how she ain't peeling no more grapes. It's kind of beautiful and cathartic. I understand not being wasteful and all that, but there's very little else as satisfying as throwing food at something. Then, Carrie and Elise walk in arm-in-arm and the world is officially ended. Oh, they're just drunk. Will tells Carrie that she stinks like a bar. Not pretty. He hopes that they are all hungover the next day. Fat chance. Those dames look like pros to me.

Hold that. These drunk bitches all go to bed and Carrie and Elise start fighting because Elise is making fun of Carrie and the pee-pee horse. I'm not leaving anything out. It's that stupid. Elise tells her that she's not going to have to look at her after this challenge, because Carrie's not getting any better and she's going home. You know that adage about meeting the same people on the way down that you met on the way up? Elise should consider that.

The next evening, it's time for dinner service. Ramsay says that they overbooked the restaurant. Two seatings. For the first seating, one team will serve while the other will cook. For the second, it will be the other way around. The Red Team, lead by Elise, decides to serve first. Elise thinks this will be a good way to gauge how the kitchen gets pounded. I think this is wrong because they will have less energy in the kitchen when they finally get there.

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Hell's Kitchen

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