Hell's Kitchen
9 Chefs Compete

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Daniel: C+ | Grade It Now!
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No Accounting for Taste

We have half the chefs we started with, but I think I hate everyone twice as much as when we started, so it's all balancing out.

Ramsay dismisses the teams, but not without a few jokes about the sheer amount of material required to make a jacket for Clemenza. In the dorms, Robyn makes overtures to Clemenza, because she needs someone in her corner, and Justin and Bryan are too busy fixing their hair in the mirror to be trustworthy. So good job to Robyn for going after someone who doesn't appear to be much hung up about hygiene at all. Obviously, Clemenza feels he's playing her as much as she thinks she's playing him.

Meanwhile, Red is discussing the problems on Blue, with Robyn's ghost a little more difficult to get rid of than you'd think. Christina in particular seems to still have Robyn under her skin.

And then Tiffany strolls over to share a cigarette with Bryan and perhaps bury the hatchet over her commandeering of Blue's kitchen and testicles, and she cares so much that she can't even take the cigarette out of her mouth when speaking to Bryan, so the rapprochement doesn't exactly take root. Bryan thinks she's a "bitch" who "sucks" and it's cruel and unusual punishment just to look at her. Justin pipes up to tell Tiffany to shove it (essentially), and he thinks she's out of her mind.

The next morning, a chipper Ramsay says he thought they'd have a little fun with a wing-eating contest. He wants two volunteers from each team, but by "volunteers" he means "people I select," since Justin was the only Blue member who didn't have his hand up. Justin, who frets because he always chokes on his food or something, is teamed up with Bryan against Tiffany and Barbie. Ostensibly they're up against Ramsay, but just as they're about set to start stuffing wings down their gullets, Ramsay reveals that they're actually up against some competitive eater Joey "Jaws" Chestnut, who takes part in the kind of competitions that make everyone outside the U.S. say, "Oh, come on, America."

So the teams of two are up against Joey Jaws alone. Actually, it's possible that all four chefs are a single team, judging from the scoreboard, but it doesn't matter since Joey Jaws wipes the floor with them, Ramsay's $500 prize incentive having no effect. This is despite Dana's wry prediction that if Tiffany can eat wings as fast as she drinks beers, then it's in the bag.

But Joey wins by seven wings, and the cheftestants stumble back to their teams, full of spicy chicken meat and dreams of nearby toilets. But it's time for the blind taste test. "My lips are numb and burning at the same time," Barbie tells us. Red has one more team member, so someone has to sit it out. Kimmie quickly volunteers since she smoked this morning, except, as Dana essentially points out to us, the only time the cheftestants aren't smoking is when they're in the kitchen. Of course, it's not the first time she's absented herself from a competition.

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Hell's Kitchen

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