Hell's Kitchen
9 Chefs Compete

Episode Report Card
Daniel: C+ | Grade It Now!
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No Accounting for Taste

And in Red, Barbie is scouring the mussels that we were shown Kimmie suggested but were supposedly shot down, so who knows what's going on? She spends two-and-a-half hours on the mussels, putting her team on edge. Seriously, Barbie! Kimmie wants to hit her again. She's said that so many times it has lost all meaning. Chef Andi is on Red's case to get more plates up to the pass. "My team definitely doesn't respect me as a chef," says Barbie, who shows what an amazing chef she is by heading out for a smoke break, leaving Christina to take over on the mussels that aren't even close to being done yet.

Speaking of not even being done yet, Clemenza's still not finished his jacket. It's forty-five minutes before he gets back.

OK, who's Red mad at now? Tiffany, who doesn't cook the potatoes properly. Dana says they're crunchy, and Tiffany says she'll see what they're like when they're cool. Yes, nothing softens food up like COOLING IT. Tiffany's all, "Whatever, they don't know fine-ass dining like my classy ass do."

Ramsay strides through the kitchen, half an hour before dinner service, to give the approval to all the dishes. He calls Red's mussels washed-out and messy. The beet salad "tastes of dirt." The flatbread is nice, and the pan-seared halibut in lobster-corn broth is nice. And he calls Kimmie's marinated ribeye delicious.

While Red makes adjustments, Ramsay goes to sample Blue's stuff. He says Robyn's crab salad with mango puree is visually like something out of the 1980s. Justin's annoyed, but also pleased, because that was something he specifically said to Robyn during the menu planning.

The ragu carpaccio has no seasoning anywhere. The steak au poivre? Too much onion. The grilled quail that he at first thought was an appetizer is undercooked and full of bone. "I'm about to kick you out of here," he tells Clemenza, for failing to pull the bone out. And we're to be continued. AGAIN.

Daniel is a writer in Newfoundland with a wife and a daughter. He's not sure, even with all the great fish out here, that he could tell them apart in a blind taste test. Follow him on Twitter (@DanMacEachern) or email him at danieljdaniel[at]gmail.com.

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Hell's Kitchen

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