Hell's Kitchen

Episode Report Card
Keckler: A- | 689 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Day 3

Other food screw-ups during service have Nearly Naked Bonnie sending raw scallops to the pass, which upon investigation by Ramsay, have the poor guy blithering, "Who coo -- who?" He's so upset, he can't even swear. Of course, he quickly recovers and throws pieces of scallops around, cursing Nearly Naked Bonnie out. Rock's ass-kicking gets noticed by Ramsay, and he also congratulates the Blue Team for getting some orders out, adding, "Don't start wetting your pants." More drama ensues when Ramsay discovers a smelly container of crab sitting out, getting all warm and spoiled. The fault lies with Joanna, who admits that the crab didn't smell bad to her. After Ramsay screams and hollers and shoves the whiffy container of crab under everyone's noses, poor JP asks if he should recommend something else to the customers. "Yes, recommend a new restaurant!" Ramsay blusters.

It's an hour into service, and the Red Team hasn't sent out any food of any sort, but the Blue Team has served half of their appetizers to happy customers. Unfortunately, Ramsay finds a problem. Gathering the Blue Team around him with a "Hey, come here, donkeys!" Ramsay shows them all the raw egg that was about to go out to the dining room. Venting his frustration on Vinnie, the egg cooker, Ramsay slams the undercooked egg into his chest. It looks for a moment as though Vinnie is about to rumble with Ramsay, but sadly he thinks better of it and gets back to work. The Red Team is finally getting appetizers out and Jen thinks they're doing so well that she tosses what she thinks is excess cooked (but not plated) spaghetti into the trash. Another order for the spaghetti appetizer comes in and Jen panics. Pulling a George Costanza, she goes over to the garbage, PICKS OUT THE TRASHED SPAGHETTI, and washes it. In the sink. She tells us, "212° kills the bacteria." Luckily for Jen and for all the diners in Hell's Kitchen, Julia refuses to serve the washed spaghetti. All of this goes unnoticed by Ramsay. Again, I can only imagine, fantasize, DREAM what his reaction would have been. He might just have keeled right over without a word as his brain seized up trying to process a hundred and fifty different epithets and variants on "fuck."

Both the Reds and the Blues screw up their Wellingtons, customers walk out, and Ramsay makes a painful grab for his temples and starts screaming, "Sabotage!" indiscriminately. Service is over and, since ninety-five percent of their customers were never served their mains, the Reds lose this round. Not able to pick the best of the worst, Ramsay orders them to decide amongst themselves who should go to the chopping block. The Reds discuss it, and Joanna bravely nominates herself and Jen as the worst that night. Jen, who somehow thinks dragging spaghetti out of the trash is defensible, argues that, "other people made mistakes, too." This brings the haute cuisine boom down on Julia, as Melissa, Bonnie, and Jen tell her she doesn't have enough of a fine dining background. As Melissa put it, "You don't know the product. Like, how are you going to know all the herbs, all the meat? It took me ten years to learn all these things." Really, Melissa? Ten years? Maybe you're not the one who shouldn't be given a Michelin-star restaurant because it sounds like you're a slow learner. Joanna puts it best when she snaps back, "That bitch could run a fucking Michelin-star restaurant." The "team" agrees on sending Joanna and Julia.

Hell's Kitchen

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