Hell's Kitchen

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B | Grade It Now!
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You Know, For Kids!

Gordon Ramsay's Bleep-O-Fucking-Meter: 28
Contestants' Bleep-O-Fucking-Meter: 21
Best Ramsay Quote of the Night: "You can manage to [bleep] up raw food."

Last week: Chickens. Jason couldn't remember the desserts. Craig was slow. Vanessa let something catch on fire. Ben's fish was raw. Things got shut down. The choice was between Vanessa and Jason, and the Misogyny Corner came to an end. And there was much rejoicing.

As the contestants file back to the dorms, Gordon continues to heap abuse on them. Not very good abuse, though; as an example, he just sort of spits "Punk!" at Ben. Vanessa is letting it get to her and expresses her feelings in a tear-stained interview, but Ben just thinks he's being tested to see if he really wants to be a chef. Actually, I think Gordon's more interested in seeing if you're any good. Your personal desires can come up later.

Uh oh! Chef Ramsay's still got his PA system, and he continues to berate the contestants at what we're told is 12:35 AM. Back down to the kitchen, everybody! Clean it up! So I guess we're sticking with the formula of "Miscellaneous Humiliation", then "Challenge", then "Dinner Service". If I might be allowed an aside, I think it's interesting that the main skill this show tests for is "can you cook on a line while under pressure", as opposed to the Top Chef model of "what's the fanciest food you can create while under some random restriction". If I were a cynical person, I would say that's because the most Chef Ramsay expects out of the winner is someone who can show up on time and work the grill and that he's not really expecting a cuisine-creating chef. It's just a guess.

Back in the kitchen, Corey is being cranky that the other women are talking while they're supposed to be cleaning. And then she goes back upstairs while the others are still bringing out the mop bucket. See? Mopping seems more like a "rank and file" task than an "Executive Chef at a million-star restaurant" one. And Corey's action has annoyed her teammates, but the voiceover narration seems to be more optimistic, describing it as "an opportunity to win over her teammates."

Chef Ramsay asks the red team who the strongest individual is, and they vote for Jen because they don't like Corey. They're pretty open about it, too. The blue team puts Ben up in a show of seeming solidarity.

Chef Ramsay announces that "for the first time ever" (which seems a little overblown, considering that Hell's Kitchen has only served, what, 50 or so dinners if you count all the seasons?) they'll be having a special family night service with a new menu. That surprises the contestants, but it's not like they've gotten much a grip on the old menu. The new menu features pasta, which leads to an unfortunate interview by Rosann, which features "Fageddaboutit". Of course it does.

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Hell's Kitchen

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