Hell's Kitchen

Episode Report Card
Keckler: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
Day 4

Gordon Ramsay's Bleep-O-Fucking-Meter: 65

Best Ramsay Insult of the Night: "It's a fucking carrot, you donut."

New Tagline for the Show: "Too many chefs fuck the Wellingtons."

Best Contestant Quote: "I love to put things in my mouth." --Bonnie, during the blind taste test

When the episode opens, the contestants are still reeling from the night's dinner service. As Jen beats herself up for even thinking she could have served the binned spaghetti, Vinnie picks up a stick to join her. I don't know how many different ways he told her she made a stupid decision, but it was more than one and fairly unnecessary. Basically, Vinnie has never let me down in his dicktitude. Kudos, Vinnie! Given what happens later, though, it's pretty rich of Bonnie to hug Jen comfortingly and say, "There's no crying in the kitchen."

The next day shows us that we've come to the part of the season when the contestants undergo their blind taste tests. Blindfolded and with headphones blocking out all sound -- something that Ramsay tests by calling Brad a "sack of shit," as if it wasn't something he'd yell directly in his ear -- each contestant has to taste three foods. Maybe my memory is faulty, but I swear that the foods in previous seasons were far more exotic and challenging. This year, they get boiled potato, American cheese, boiled carrot, lobster meat, fried chicken, stuff like that. The toughest item they chewed over was a piece of bok choy. Every week, Gordon Ramsay gives me many reasons to kiss him, but tonight was all about his torment of Melissa's obvious obsession with her looks, which began tonight during the tasting. He lifts up one of her headphones and asks, "Can you hear under all that hair?" Awesome. Guess we aren't the only ones who note Melissa's amber waves of ANNOYING! Bonnie, who at first can hear Ramsay through her headphones, nails all of her foods. She even goes so far as to identify the piece of bok choy as specifically coming from the end of the bok choy. After three Reds and three Blues have gone, the count stands at 5-3 in favor of the girly Reds. As he faces off against Jen, it's up to Vinnie to save it for the boys. Ramsay himself says, "Two to tie and three to win," before we go to commercial break. However, after the break, the announcer tells us that if Vinnie gets one wrong, it's all over, and that just doesn't make sense to me at all. First of all, there's what Ramsay said, and logically it stands to reason that if Vinnie got two correct and Jen got zero, it would be a tie, right? At any rate, Vinnie identifies seared tuna as pancetta and it's all over; the Reds win another day of Ramsay flirtation.

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Hell's Kitchen




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