Brad comes out with all these wild ideas like scallops with horseradish spaëtzle, and making upscale macaroni and cheese but calling it cassoulet. Okay, what? Rock's with me on this. He doesn't see a problem with upgrading the mac 'n' cheese and calling it what it is, "It's not a cassoulet. It's macaroni and cheese." "We'll call it cassoulet, though," Brad insists. Okay, things a cassoulet does not have: pasta and cheese. Things mac 'n' cheese does not have: beans, lardon, duck confit, and sausages. There is no overlap there, Brad. You can't call mac 'n' cheese a frickin' cassoulet any more than you can call Melissa a soothing influence in the kitchen.
Julie suggests they put a New York strip steak on the menu, but Bonnie pooh-poohs it and suggests rabbit, adding, "Do we know how to cook that, though?" Jen raises a sneering lip and wonders if it's going to be classy enough. Both teams head back down to the kitchen in fairly foul moods. Bonnie asks Jen why she's shaking her head. "Because I can," Jen snaps. "Oh, Jen, don't turn into a bitch now, please," Bonnie whines. "Don't call me a bitch," Jen bitches. "Don't act like one," Bonnie retorts. I really hope there are some sympathetic Trekkies out there, because I have been sitting on this one for six weeks: Jen is a dead ringer for Varria in "The Most Toys."
Ramsay steps over to examine the menus and asks Julia which of the nine new dishes is the one she suggested. None of them. Julia explains she really wanted to do steak and shrimp, so Ramsay tells her to have at it. Ramsay approves the boys' menu and hopes they can pull it all off. During prep, Bonnie whines about her bacon staying together. Jen turns to look at her but hardens her face and doesn't respond. "No one's talking to me right now," Bonnie tells the air. Mary Anne reminds them all that it's still a team effort. "Chef, it's fine!" Jen announces, "If I make a friend, that's great and if not, that's fine too, like, I am just here to compete." Bonnie is starting to have doubts about her friendship with Jen. Oh, the drama of thinking someone was a nice person on a reality show and then finding out otherwise! It's like these people have been living in Amish country for the last ten years.
JP throws the doors open, and our helpful and often redundant narrator tells us that the Reds will be adding New York strip steak with shrimp (Julia), seared ahi tuna (Jen), and bacon-wrapped rabbit leg on a bed of polenta (Bonnie) to their menu. The Brad team, however, will be offering turbot and mushroom consommé (Brad), lamb chops with herbed gnocchi and asparagus (Brad), and sautéed chicken breast with truffled "cassoulet" (Brad). If Ramsay doesn't go completely gnat piss on their donkey asses for that, I'm going to eat a dog's dinner.