Hell's Kitchen

Episode Report Card
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Day 7

Gordon Ramsay's Bleep-O-Fucking-Meter: 23
Best Ramsay Food Insult of the Night: "Looks like baby vomit, tastes like fucking Bovril."
Best Contestant Quote of the Night: "They took the filets out and they gave us the SKELETONS!" -- Bonnie, while sobbing over the botched order

Gordon Ramsay is really letting me down these days. First of all, we have an all-time low here on the Bleep-O-Fucking-Meter -- 23? Really, Ramsay? Come ON, we know you can do better than that! Don't make me call you a donkey! And then he lets Brad's "cassoulet" slip by. It was FUCKING macaroni and cheese, not CASSOULET! They don't even share ANY ingredients! How, just HOW? I mean, if I ordered cassoulet at a restaurant and didn't get white beans and confit duck and all that good French crap, I'd be fucking pissed!

As the contestants trudge back to their rooms, Bonnie's reaction to last week's excising of Melignant is odd. She boggles to us, "It was like when you watch a movie and some main character that you're not expecting to DIE, like DIES, in the first five minutes and you're just like...what?" But...Melissa didn't die in the first five minutes...and you thought Melissa was going home the week before anyway, so...what? Bonnie's not all there. The boys are fine with Melissa's ousting, and Rock takes the opportunity to talk about himself in the third person again, "Rock is one person closer to the prize." The girls can't get over how cocky the guys are and pledge not to lose.

The next morning's 30-minute challenge is for each team to take leftovers and create three stunning dishes, one appetizer and two entrees. The leftovers include white wine, chicken stock, beef, vegetable stock, chicken, pasta, eggs, and lobster heads. The boys rock out by assigning proteins and getting right on with their individual dishes with some discussion of planning and execution as they prep, but the girls waste seemingly endless amounts of time simply trying to figure out what to do. Bonnie suggests, "Let's do meat and potatoes," but then adds, "How do we do meat and potatoes?" Finally, with Bonnie exclaiming, "We could do steak and eggs!" like it's the biggest brainwave to hit her in years, the girls actually start cooking.

Bonnie and Brad bring their appetizers up and get ready to whip off the covers. Brad has done a stunning curried bass with crustacean-tomato pasta. Bonnie casts pathetic mewling looks back at her team. Ramsay tastes Brad's dish and likes it. Bonnie's dish is a rustic chicken stew. Ramsay tastes and says, "It's nice, quite fresh. It's rustic, you're right." Bonnie nods emphatically. He calls a tie between the two dishes. I call bullshit. Brad clearly put more thought and effort into his dish, but we do need the drama in this fairly boring episode.

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Hell's Kitchen




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