Hell's Kitchen

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Day 7

JP throws the doors open, and our helpful and often redundant narrator tells us that the Reds will be adding New York strip steak with shrimp (Julia), seared ahi tuna (Jen), and bacon-wrapped rabbit leg on a bed of polenta (Bonnie) to their menu. The Brad team, however, will be offering turbot and mushroom consommé (Brad), lamb chops with herbed gnocchi and asparagus (Brad), and sautéed chicken breast with truffled "cassoulet" (Brad). If Ramsay doesn't go completely gnat piss on their donkey asses for that, I'm going to eat a dog's dinner.

Dinner service is the same predictable jumble of ups and downs. It starts off with diners only ordering from the Red menu and Ramsay slamming the Blues for that. Then none of the Reds really know how to cook Bonnie's bacon-wrapped rabbit leg but Julia finally masters it and a diner proclaims it to be the best thing he ever tasted. Orders for Julia's New York strip start to come in like crazy and Ramsay praises her left and right. "Sometimes I do know what's best although I'm not culinary arts," Julia tells us. You go, girl!

On the Blue side, Brad has to deal with cold ravioli being sent back and then Josh begins to mess up the lamb chops. He brings some chops to Ramsay, who calls him back to bellow about one chop being perfect and the other being boiled. "Let me tell you something in your ear," Ramsay says, beckoning to Josh, "YOU CAN'T COOK!" While Josh struggles and struggles in his lamb chop weeds, no one on his team lifts a finger to help him out. As a result, Ramsay jabs his finger into four more of his ruined lamb chops, bellowing, "Just look what you're doing, you DONUT! BOILED! BOILED! BOILED! BOILED! DONKEY!" And the problems with the Blues don't stop there, because their customers aren't getting served. A woman comments to JP that her dining companion, who ordered from the Red menu, is being served before she, the lady, is served. JP, who takes chivalry very seriously, dances up to tell Ramsay about the problem. I was hoping Ramsay would stomp into the dining room and tell the woman that "chivalry is fucking deader than her makeup" but all he does is yell the complaint back to the Blues and blames Josh, "And this is where it separates a fucking chef from a DONKEY!" Ramsay finally orders Brad and Rock to help Josh, but they still don't do a damn thing.

Ramsay's temper is way up, so when he can't immediately find Jen he yells at her for cleaning up and running around with her elbows and wrists up like...well, like the way one would imitate a rabbit, I guess. Jen bitches to us that she doesn't walk like that, but then we get a blue-toned Hell's Kitchen flashback to Jen walking pretty much just like that. Observing Jen's face, Ramsay orders her not to stand there "looking sad like a little, lonely puppy."

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Hell's Kitchen




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