Hell's Kitchen

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C- | Grade It Now!
Day 9

When Jen catches a glimpse of her mother, she bawls outright. And it's not pretty; her crying face almost makes Dawson's look sexy. Other mothered reactions are Rock just grinning and Bonnie -- who wants to be seen as emotionally invested in her relationship with her mother as Jen -- forcing sobs out through totally dry eyes. The contestants wait while the three mothers try all three dishes. None of them knows which kid made what dish, so it's all fair and balanced. Jen's reimagining of fried chicken -- a fried chicken roulade stuffed with crab, goat cheese, and spinach -- wins a lunch out with her mother, Mum Ramsay (who arrived earlier to sort of illustrate the difference between her mac and cheese and her son's version), and Gordon Ramsay (should we be concerned that he looks older than his own mother?), as well as a $1000 shopping spree at a kitchen supply store.

While Jen is off shopping and lunching, Rock and Bonnie have to clean out the dorm room. Bonnie immediately starts whining as she looks at the list of tasks. "I'm really good at making beds," she offers, as if this was a HUGE weight off Rock's mind. Rock is awesome, though; he rolls his eyes and tells her that's peanuts compared to everything else they have to do. We learn that in addition to not doing any ironing, Bonnie also doesn't clean at her nanny job. Fine. Good. Okay. Fuck the nannying job; she's twenty-six years old -- who the hell cleans her apartment? Wait, I don't want to know. She has a cleaning lady, doesn't she? Unless, of course, she's a live-in nanny and in that case, the family clearly has enough money to have their own maid service. At twenty-six, I'd be ashamed if I looked at a list of cleaning tasks that included such Herculean tasks as "toilet" and "bathtub" and "mopping" and offered that I could "Windex things" in addition to being really good at making beds. Gah. And if that wasn't bad enough, Bonnie CANNOT SHUT UP during the entire cleaning process. She whines that she's hungry, tired, has low-energy, etc. In another case of trying to get out of work, she asks Rock if he could throw out some ham and then clean the fridge. Not being blinded by her blonde, Rock just stares at her, like, "Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me!" and, without saying a word, gets Bonnie to back off, creeling, "OKAAAAY, I'll clean the fridge!" like she's St. Bonniface, Martyr of the Soft Scrub.

The night's service has the contestants taking their turns at the pass, so Ramsay pulls each one of them aside to make sure they know how loud they should scream and how many expletives are required. Bonnie has no problem imitating Ramsay and screaming her little pony-tailed head off at him. He's quite impressed and sends her back to prep. Rock has a little more trouble getting into the role, but gets it in a second go-around. Finally, there's Jen who also starts off weak but after Ramsay tells her to imagine that he's just exploded her golden retriever in the microwave, she pulls out some okay screams. (Side note: in addition to Varria, Jen also kind of looks like a golden retriever. Especially when she hangs her head out of limos in Vegas.) Scott and Mary Ann are filling in the gaps on the line, and the twist is, Ramsay wants the sous chefs to intentionally screw dishes up. Anyone who watched the past seasons should have known this was coming, and any contestant on this show who doesn't watch the past seasons is as dumb as someone who pretends not to know what meatloaf is.

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Hell's Kitchen




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