Hell's Kitchen

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B+ | Grade It Now!
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One Contestant Goes Missing

Sharon, 31, is a room service chef, which sounds vaguely illicit. Her eye shadow doesn't help. Neither does her food. Ben and Christina are rejected even before I can write down their ages and occupations. Louross (the guy with the mohawk) is also rejected. I like Louross because he has a real mohawk instead of those faux-hawks you see so often on cooking shows these days.

Second-to-last: Vanessa, who has pan-seared a halibut then put it in the oven. Gordon thanks her and calls it delicious. She pumps the fist, and why not?

Finally, Bobby, the black Gordon Ramsay. He's made a Hawaiian butterfish with roasted red pepper thai sauce. The white Gordon Ramsay does not approve of deep-frying the fish. Bobby interviews that he is a four-star general, which is about the sixth time he has called himself that. You know, there is such a thing as a five-star general. I mean, they're not common, but if you're going to invent a military rank for yourself, why not go straight to the top? Why not be Admiral of the Moon while you're at it? I think I might not like Bobby.

Gordon does the standard posturing about whether any of them are good enough for the Fabulous Prize. One of them will be Executive Chef at his new Los Angeles Restaurant, "The London L.A.", which is a name that confuses me. Louross (24, hotel chef) says that he would like the prize because "Louross London L.A." has three Ls in it. I would have thought the money and prestige were the main draw, but apparently for Louross, nothing beats alliteration. It's also apparently "L Boogie to the beat". Yeah, and when you take that bus, you get there. Don't push me, Louross. A real mohawk can only take you so far, and you lost most of that ground when I noticed your soul patch.

Jason is a bald guy with a chin beard who says that winning would change his life. Women will call him "Jason with a pocketful of money" and he'll have to beat them off with a stick. I don't think that's how you're supposed to do it.

Scott is the men's sous chef and Gloria (replacing Mary-Ann) will be running the girls' team. Girls? Oh well. The Men are Blue and the Women are Red. Oh, and this year each team will have to name a captain. Off to the dorms!

The women vote for Vanessa because she was the only one who did well in the challenge. The men squabble and posture and smoke. The women flip through the three-ring binder that contains this season's menu, which we're told is the most challenging yet. Through the magic of HDTV, I can report that one of the dishes involves lamb, cooked until the middle flanges find the pea and knee to wood. Hmm. That sounds complicated!

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Hell's Kitchen

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