Hell's Kitchen
Hell's Kitchen

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B- | 188 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
I Fought the Cod, and the Cod Won

Everyone gets fed (Ryan makes big babies Blue thank the women for helping them out). After lunch is over, Ramsay announces that their prize is a trip on a private jet to go on a safari in San Diego. They screech and leave to go get ready while Ramsay chews out Blue, wanting to know who the leader is going to be. After a lot of foot-shuffling, Patrick says he'll take over. "I need to see it," says Ramsay. Royce, who can't cook spaghetti or mashed potatoes or SALAD, thinks PATRICK is in over his head.

Ramsay has volunteered them for some hard labor at the Ballona wetlands, which is not something I'm familiar with, but I don't claim to be an expert on American treasures.

Meanwhile the women are boarding the G4 and Kimmie classes things up by continuing to wear pants that require discreet pixilation of the backside and singing that they're going to rock out with their cocks out. If she should actually be on Blue, best she tell everybody now, don't you think?

So while the men work their asses off chopping down acacia trees or whatever, the women go on safari and look at a rhinoceros, which Tiffany laughs at and says looks like Clemenza. If that's a size joke at Clemenza's expense -- well, Tiffany's not exactly in a position to be making them, but we already know how highly she thinks of herself. There are also giraffes that lick the women -- Dana amusingly calls it the most action she's gotten in a week, and it's nice.

Sitting down for supper, Ramsay congratulates them all and makes them swear, hands in the air, that they will complete their next dinner service. Barbie then yanks the spotlight over to herself and apologizes for waking them up this morning, and the spirit of camaraderie flicks off like a light switch, it's amazing. Even Ramsay seems taken aback that she did that.

The men are chopping, chopping, chopping and taking issue with Patrick's leadership. At least Guy is, because he says Patrick is leading simply by telling other what to do instead of doing anything himself. Justin, however, is proud of Blue for eventually chopping down the tree, so congratulations on some shit work done grudgingly and time-consumingly!

The next day, the teams prep their kitchens, with the rest of Blue, getting angry at Patrick, who they say isn't doing anything to lead. What that actually means is they resent the fact he's trying to tell them what to do. Royce, who can't cook spaghetti or mashed potatoes or salad, wants everyone to know how much Patrick sucks. He doesn't want anyone telling him what to do, least of all Patrick, because he wears a bandanna.

Hell's Kitchen

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