Then, as the teams get ready, Ramsay places a call to Royce's boss -- and Season 1 runner-up -- Ralph Pagano, to tell him how terrible Royce is doing. Royce takes the call and calls Ralph "bro" but it's not hard to see that Royce feels like Ramsay just called his dad. Ralph gives him a pep talk that includes such totally helpful and specific advice like "step up and knock it out." Still, Royce tells us that he feels like he can do better tonight. Better than not being able to cook anything? Shouldn't be hard.
Hell's Kitchen opens, with some firefighters and marines in the crowd, who will be pleased to know that Royce is bringing his "A-plus-plus" game tonight. First up, some delicious risotto, so he's off to a good start. "I wish you'd spoke to Ralph earlier, fuck me," says Ramsay. Heh.
Things aren't going so well on the Red side. Dana serves up some spaghetti that's more like spaghetti soup, and Ramsay says it's just like piss. I think he might need to see a urologist.
As for how Don the waiter is faring, he seems to be Charlie-Kelly-level illiterate, but to be fair, you can't expect someone who works in the restaurant industry to know how to spell "appetizer." It takes him some time to get his ticket-writing in order, but he does, and Blue kitchen is running tickety-boo, earning a "phenomenal start" from Ramsay, at least until Clemenza gives him a cooking time of "twenty minutes" for some lamb, much to Ramsay's chagrin. Under Ramsay's withering glare, Clemenza drops it to fifteen and then 10 and you get the feeling he would have kept going right down to "the lamb went out five minutes ago." But he serves them beautifully, so no harm done.
Dana has already forgotten her spaghetti soup and calls herself the best for not screwing up any more appetizers. Not so for Barbie. Perhaps because she seems more concerned about Ramsay identifying her as a "sexy bitch" for some reason, she messes up scallops -- again, mind you -- and Ramsay is disgusted because those are for firefighters. The "Why do you hate America, Barbie?" is implied.
Then Clemenza's not ready with the Wellington for Patrick's cod, which isn't good. But Red's still working on appetizers, and Christina elects to help Briana out, who I guess has taken over for Barbie there and is proving just as useless. Christina starts getting shit done.
Then Clemenza slices the Wellingtons too soon, which means they'll "bleed out" (holy shit! That's gangsta!) before the cod is ready. So he's got to do them over again -- trouble is, he needs three and there are only two prepped.