Oh, right. I forgot about the nailbiting cliffhanger, leaving us to wonder if four people are going to be eliminated this week. If your cliffhangers elicit nothing more than annoyance and eyerolls, maybe rethink them?
On the plus side, I've reached that point in the season where I completely love this year's opening credits sequence and can't imagine them being any other way, so there's that.
Anyway, where were we? Oh, right! Dan, Ray, Nedra and Mary are all standing in front of Ramsay, awaiting the falling axe. Ramsay announces they're all on probation and will have to earn their jackets back by the end of the next dinner service, or else they're history. Anthony has this hilarious "he's gone mad with power!" look on his face.
The teams are kicked out to go act like babies over the whole thing. While Mary and Nedra are scared but largely positive, determined to win their jackets back, Dan is apparently mad at everything, and his teammates want him to chill out. "Be a man and prove that shit," says -- wait, who's the guy with the funky Mohawk-ish hair who isn't the other guy with Mohawk-ish hair?
So the next morning we learn the challenge has to do with Chinese food, and the sound effects guys go crazy with the goddamn gongs all over the soundtrack, and now Zach is yelling at us that he's from the hood and so he likes Chinese food, and lists EVERY GODDAMN RESTAURANT HE KNOWS.
Each team is going to create versions of chow mein, spring rolls, dumplings, Chinese soup (pssst! In China they call it "soup!") and stir-fry. Dan is that guy who is all "I lived in China for a year so I'm practically Chinese" and figures he's going to nail it.
Because we have to hit as many stereotypical cultural touchstones as possible, Ramsay points at a dish with two-hundred fortune cookies containing the ingredients, that the teams have to carry around with chopsticks, only when they go racing to start the competition, what appeared to have been a statue of an ancient Chinese warrior turns out to be very much alive, freaking everyone out.
Ramsay then scolds them for thinking the competition was going to be that dumb, and the REAL fortune cookies are wheeled out -- huge multicoloured things the size of footballs. "I lived in Asia for a year," Dan tells his team while they discuss who's going to man the board where they sort the ingredients. It turns out he and Ray will because HAHAHAHA! Ramsay can't believe it. On the Red side, Ja'Nel and Jacqueline will be handling the board. "I can't fuck this up," Dan tells us. Aw, I have faith in you, Dan!