Hell's Kitchen
The Winner is Chosen

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B | Grade It Now!
Fish on the Walls

Gordon Ramsay's Bleep-O-Fucking-Meter: 13
Contestants' Bleep-O-Fucking-Meter: 36
Days Until This Show Is Back: Fewer than you'd think!

Previously: We're down to Danny and Paula! Paula's plan is to have a simple and tasty menu, while Danny wants fish mounted on the walls. They were at the Borgata last episode for a "surprise" cooking challenge, which Danny won. So when they drafted the chefs to be their brigades, Danny got Ben, Giovanni, and Carol while Paula got Andrea, LA, and Lacey. Lacey and Giovanni look like they're going to be trouble. Andrea looks to me like she's going to knock Lacey's head against a wall if she gives Paula any lip. Oh, and apparently this is one the most highly anticipated finals ever, and I guess I have been wishing this season would hurry up and end already. I'm not sure that's what they meant. Anyway. Blah blah Head Chef at Borgata in Atlantic City and so on. You know the drill. Let's. Get. It. On.

Paula hugs Lacey in an attempt to pretend that she's happy she's on her team. No one is fooled. Danny expresses some satisfaction that he got Ben and not Lacey. Chef Ramsay sends everyone upstairs to "bond", and specifically welcomes Lacey back, adding, under his breath, "bleep".

Now someone's [bleep]ing up a storm! Bleep, bleep, bleep... oh, wait. It's just a construction hoist backing up. Never mind. Although I guess it's possible that the guy driving it is also cursing steadily. The point is that the kitchens are still being built.

Up in the dorms, people are getting assigned tasks. Carol is delighted to be on fish, saying "It's the only station I rock." Solid. Although Carol interviews that she'd rather that Paula win, because Girl Power and all that. Ben interviews that if his good food can help Danny win, "then my work here would be done." Then he flashes a smile that he probably thinks of as dazzling and confident, but which actually comes off as kind of dumb. See, this is why it's important to practice your confident, dazzling smiles for a minimum of 40 hours before you try them out in public.

Danny's main concern is that his brigade respect him and call him "chef" a lot. Giovanni sulks a bit and interviews that he doesn't want to be here or see this place ever again. Meanwhile, Paula tries to hide Lacey on the dessert station, which is exactly what I think she should do. Being placed somewhere where she can't harm appetizers or entrees would be her just, um, desserts. If you see what I'm getting at. Anyway, Paula interviews "I hope no one has a problem with working with me, although I'm sure everybody has a problem with working with me." See, she still thinks it's some kind of personality clash or that people just don't like her, when the actual problem is that she's not a good enough chef to be here. We see a montage of Lacey moments, which I didn't like the first time I recapped them. I find her very tiring.

Oh, remember the time she claimed she couldn't cook meat? Man, that was a lame excuse.

Andrea interviews: "My feeling about Lacey right now is if she gives any negativity or whatever, I swear to God I will unleash a wrath on her like she's never seen." I believe her.

Everyone arrives in the kitchen to do the prep. Danny claims to be confident. Paula says that it's important and hopes to work as a team. Gloria kind of picks on Lacey a little. She's laughing, but Lacey still looks a little ticked off. Paula micromanages Lacey's prep of the banana crème brûlée, which you'll notice has fancy accents in it. I figure if I'm going to go to the effort of putting those in, I want to draw your attention to it. Ben talks a lot about helping Danny win.

Paula checks on Lacey's prepped custards (for the crème brûlée) and quickly determines that they're curdled and have to be done again. Lacey's off to an early start with messing up. Lacey cheerfully calls out "My bad!" like we don't know that already. Ben interviews smugly that Danny's success will rely on him. He also says that "he's gonna get Ben at full force tonight," but he probably doesn't mean that as threateningly as it sounds.

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Hell's Kitchen




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