When he gets to three, it's commercial time, of course. And when we come back, we have to have it SET UP for us again.
EVENTUALLY, it's Christina who steps through the door, although she practically collapses upon realizing what has happened. "It feels so good, it's totally amazing," Christina tells us, as we watch her walk down the steps. Upstairs, Ramsay hugs and Justin and tells him he did a great job, as do his parents when he eventually gets to the bottom of the stairs. He's gracious in defeat, praising Christina as a chef (although I suppose it wouldn't do to slag the abilities of someone who beat you), while Christina is straight-up crying over winning, promising to keep raising the bar when she goes to Las Vegas. "Christina's passion and talent are undeniable. She's a strong leader, who is totally at home in the kitchen," Ramsay tells us, and I'll spare you the gambling puns he makes next.
And now it's time for everyone's favorite part: Credit bloopers and Ramsay joking around! Along clips of the contestants dancing (with fake grainy-film lines added in, because why?) we see Ramsay praise Brian's cooking when his mind's on it, but when he's not? He's a nightmare. And Royce? "Fuck me, Royce, you're hard work. I swear to god I could fucking grill your head sometimes," he says. I'd watch that reality show too, you know.
Daniel is a writer in Newfoundland with a wife and a daughter. Here's to ten more years of profanity and contempt in Hell's Kitchen. Follow him on Twitter (@DanMacEachern) or email him at firstname.lastname@example.org.