Heroes
Distractions

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Who's Yer Daddy? Oh. It's Nathan.

Claire slowly walks up the stairs and approaches the front door. She knocks, and her mother comes right to the door and opens it. "Claire?" she whispers? Claire has tears in her eyes. After a momentary hesitation, Firemommy reaches out and pulls her daughter into an embrace. Aw.

Bennet Family Manse. Mr. Muggles trots into Claire's room and stops at a pair of men's shoes. Hands reach down and pick up the dog, and it's Sylar. He looks directly into the dog's cute little face and goes, "Hi, little Fluffy." Mr. Muggles growls, "'Fluffy'? Do I look like a 'Fluffy' to you? A) I'm not a girl and B) I'm not a towel. The name is MUGGLES and I'd prefer you use it. Also? Stop breathing in my face, homes. You could use an Altoid. Or ten." Sylar asks the dog if Claire's home from school yet, and Mr. Muggles doesn't answer because HE'S A DOG. Sylar says they'll just wait for Claire to return home. "Now, what's your name?" he asks the dog. Mr. Muggles is like, I DONE TOLD YOU MY NAME ALREADY, FOOL. Now get me a rawhide chew toy and back up off me, you freak. Mrs. Bennet is heard entering the house downstairs. She calls out for Mr. Muggles, and Sylar weirdly says, "Of course," for some reason and then he runs his hand across Claire's bedspread as he and Mr. Muggles head out to say hi to the lady of the house.

Down in the kitchen, Mrs. Bennet enters with her arms full of grocery bags. She drops them with a startled scream when she sees Sylar standing there silently with her poor dog under his arm. Mr. Muggles: "First he breathes all over my face, and now he's got his damn hand on my butt. I hate this guy." Mrs. Bennet asks who the hell Sylar is, and he invents some story about how he's from the paper company, and he was just making a delivery for Mr. Bennet when he saw Mr. Muggles rambling around the yard, so he thought he'd better gather him up and bring him inside the Bennet's house. Mr. Muggles: "He's lying. I would never go outside. I'm too delicate. It might ruin my constitution." Sylar grabs the dog's little muzzle and squeezes it. Mr. Muggles: "Dude, you best be getting your greasy-ass mitts off my finely groomed schnozzle there. I'm little, but my teeth are POWERFUL." Instead of thinking that someone like Sylar might store human organs in his freezer and therefore should not be trusted, Mrs. Bennet just comments on how damn sweet Sylar is and invites him to enjoy a nice glass of iced tea.

Wait -- ER is still on TV? Does anyone even watch that fucking show anymore? I love the Goran, but not enough to sit through even five minutes of that dreck. And I not only sat through Practical Magic, I OWN IT. So you know my devotion to the Goran knows no bounds. But I draw the line at ER. Really. Goran? Get a new gig so I can love you all over again. Please.

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Heroes

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