Heroes

Episode Report Card
Erin: A | 1 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Meanwhile, In A Cargo Container In Ireland...
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Welcome back, everyone! It's a new season of our favoritest show ever! Let's cross our fingers and hope that Tim Kring listened to us and shit-canned the annoying-as-hell Moyawnder voiceovers!

...GODDAMMIT, KRING.

For real -- again with the voice-over? I mean, yeah, it leads us through the previouslys, which are really more like futurelys, considering that we get glimpses of stories and characters that, unless I was suffering from a blackout phase during last season (wait...did I?), haven't made an appearance yet, but this is like my least favorite thing about the show, which is saying a lot, because, hi, I love this show more than my brand-new HDTV, so could we just...stop having it? Please? Kring? Are you listening?

Uch. Whatevs. Moyawnder tells us that a sun rises on a new dawn and that no one really knows how close they came to going "boom" and how we owe the Heroes a debt of gratitude, only we have no idea who any of them are. You know, because they're all closeted Heroes and shit. We catch glimpses of the end of the last episode, with Peter almost blowing up and Nathan flying him up into the sky, interspersed with character-establishing shots of all the Heroes. It becomes clear that Mohinder is giving a speech somewhere, maybe in front of a classroom or something, and that the contents of this speech contain mentions of saving us from ourselves and evolution and special people. Yeah, I'm not really paying attention.

Then we fast-forward to the future, with some scenes that I'm fairly certain we haven't seen yet; like Claire wondering aloud what will happen if she's discovered, Molly asking Mohinder when "they" will stop, Sylar talking about how "she" is a shiny new toy, Bennet smacking the shit outta someone, and a couple of new Heroes we have yet to meet. Moyawnder says that these people are all bound together in the common reality that they're all extraordinary. It's probably important to note that Sylar and Nathan both make appearances in this flash-forward segment, so obviously, neither of them is dead. Peter doesn't show up, but he's too busy getting his hair cut and having his shirt ripped off so that someone can chain him to the inside of a train container car.

But I see I've said too much. Moving on.

Then we're back with Mohinder Live, giving his ludicrous speech about people who can teleport and regenerate and all that crap that's bound to get him dubbed Crazy Suresh at some point. He says that he's seen all these abilities with his own eyes, as several people in his audience roll their eyes and mentally note to call the guys with the straitjackets once they get outside of Suresh's hearing.

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Heroes

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