It's four months after the Peter and Nathan Extravaganza!, and nothing much has changed. Except for the fact that Mohinder and Matt are hoarding Molly back at Mohinder's place, the Bennets have relocated to some terrifying California town south of Hell Mouth, Hiro is stuck back in 1671 with Takezo Kensei, and Nathan Petrelli is a goddamned drunk. I knew there was something I liked about him!
At any rate, this season opener has a LOT to tell us, namely that Mohinder and Matt are keeping Molly safe back at Mohinder's apartment and that Mohinder is actively trying to get into the OWI, at the behest of Mr. Bennet (or should I say Noah?), in order to bring the OWI down.
Mr. Bennet, meanwhile, is trying to install his family in a new town and it's not going all that well. Claire is in a new high school and she's having a tough time of it; she's trying to not be extraordinary, but seeing as she can regenerate bones after she breaks them, this is proving to be difficult for her. Also, she's met a hot boy who has a James Dean air about him and can also…walk and fly on air. Claire only knows that he's hot and revolutionary; she doesn't know about the air-flying and shit. Because if she did, she might not be calling her drunk-ass father Nathan to commiserate over their dead relative, Peter.
Speaking of Nathan, he's grown a full-on Che Guevara beard in an effort to make us think he's a lot less hot than he really is. Also, he's a full-on drunk and, you know, NOT DEAD. His mother, however, might soon be dead, considering that she's found a picture of herself with the "S" symbol scrawled on it in red pen. Kaito Nakamura, Hiro's father, has also come across this "S" symbol scrawled across his own face. Considering that a hooded figure shoves Kaito off the Deveaux Rooftop to his death, I'd say that anyone finding this symbol scrawled across their visages should, you know, get the hell out of town.
Kaito's son, Hiro, is back in 1671, meeting up with his personal hero, Takezo Kensei. Unfortunately, his hero turns out to be a jump-ship expatriate from England who became a sword-for-hire in Japan. And Hiro realizes that by accidentally saving Takezo on the battlefield, he's fucked the whole Takezo mythology, and might now have to right it himself, including, but not limited to, possibly romancing some guy's daughter.
Meanwhile, two new Heroes show up in the form of Maya and Alejandro, a sister and brother just trying to make it across the border to New York to talk to the doctor who wrote that book about odd genetic-type people. When their transport goes wrong and the truck that was supposed to carry them into the free world winds up full of people with blood streaming out of their eyes, we realize that Maya and Alejandro might just not be your average immigrants.
The whole thing ends up in Cork, Ireland (doesn't it always?), with a bunch of mercenaries after a stock of iPods hoarded down on the docks. They crack open the container that's supposed to hold their motherlode, but instead come upon one Peter Petrelli, who's chained to the side of the thing and has no fucking clue who he is. When one of the guys moves toward him, Peter shoots a bolt of electricity at him and knocks him on his ass. As the episode comes to a close, Peter verbally insists that he has no goddamned idea who he is.
Y'all? Heroes is BACK.
Welcome back, everyone! It's a new season of our favoritest show ever! Let's cross our fingers and hope that Tim Kring listened to us and shit-canned the annoying-as-hell Moyawnder voiceovers!
For real -- again with the voice-over? I mean, yeah, it leads us through the previouslys, which are really more like futurelys, considering that we get glimpses of stories and characters that, unless I was suffering from a blackout phase during last season (wait...did I?), haven't made an appearance yet, but this is like my least favorite thing about the show, which is saying a lot, because, hi, I love this show more than my brand-new HDTV, so could we just...stop having it? Please? Kring? Are you listening?
Uch. Whatevs. Moyawnder tells us that a sun rises on a new dawn and that no one really knows how close they came to going "boom" and how we owe the Heroes a debt of gratitude, only we have no idea who any of them are. You know, because they're all closeted Heroes and shit. We catch glimpses of the end of the last episode, with Peter almost blowing up and Nathan flying him up into the sky, interspersed with character-establishing shots of all the Heroes. It becomes clear that Mohinder is giving a speech somewhere, maybe in front of a classroom or something, and that the contents of this speech contain mentions of saving us from ourselves and evolution and special people. Yeah, I'm not really paying attention.
Then we fast-forward to the future, with some scenes that I'm fairly certain we haven't seen yet; like Claire wondering aloud what will happen if she's discovered, Molly asking Mohinder when "they" will stop, Sylar talking about how "she" is a shiny new toy, Bennet smacking the shit outta someone, and a couple of new Heroes we have yet to meet. Moyawnder says that these people are all bound together in the common reality that they're all extraordinary. It's probably important to note that Sylar and Nathan both make appearances in this flash-forward segment, so obviously, neither of them is dead. Peter doesn't show up, but he's too busy getting his hair cut and having his shirt ripped off so that someone can chain him to the inside of a train container car.
But I see I've said too much. Moving on.