Previously on Heroes: I moved to New York and Sars and Tara covered my ass for three weeks (I love you guys!) while I slept on the floor of a ridiculously overpriced apartment with a view of someone else's kitchen and waited for my cheap-tastic IKEA furniture to arrive. Also? The journey from the Port Authority to the Paramus IKEA is terrifying and should never be undertaken without copious amounts of alcohol and a posse.
Oh, and some shit happened on the show that ended with Hiro's new girlfriend getting her head popped open by Sylar and Hiro heading back in time to save her.
"Chapter Nine: Homecoming." Gah. Mohinder rambles about how we're creatures of habit as we see several of the high school cliques we don't want to admit we might be familiar with: the geeks, the freaks, the jocks, the bitches -- erm, I mean "cheerleaders." Mohinder keeps blabbing about how we're drawn to safety and comfort, but what happens when the familiar becomes unsafe? As he says this, Claire and her new BGFF, Zach, are walking past a group of cheerleaders on the Greek Forum steps. This is the weirdest school ever, y'all. The ENTRANCE is at the bottom of the Greek Forum steps. Like, what? Did someone excavate years ago and discover this ancient Greek high school at the bottom a well or something?
Whatever, so Claire and Zach pass the bitches, with Queen Bitch Jackie at their center, and Jackie totally shoots them the evil eye. Claire and Zach sit on the steps as the principal appears below, and Zach comments that he's going to post the homecoming queen announcement. Claire pretends not to care, but she totally does, and Zach prompts her to go see if she's won. She begrudgingly heads down to check out the list and passes Jock the Rapist as she goes. He's still bandaged and is all, "Hey, that girl is HOT! Maybe when I get out of these wrappings, I'll go corner her by the bleachers and try to force her panties off -- OW! Why does my head always hurt when I have those thoughts? OW! There it goes again!"
Jackie snits at Claire that it's awfully nervy of her to think she could possibly win homecoming queen, what with her taking the star quarterback out of commission by, you know, trying to kill him and everything. "You're not deluded enough to think you're actually going to win?" Jackie laughs. Claire says she's under no delusions whatsoever, thanks. "It's a popularity contest and you've made it very clear that I am no longer popular." Jackie's all, it is NOT a popularity contest! It is a scholarship program! And it's all about serving your school. And you're totally a shallow cooze. Claire just rolls her eyes and crosses her arms beneath her perky little breasts.