Heroes

Episode Report Card
Erin: A | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
How To Avoid Expensive Pedicures
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: the second season started; Hiro woke up in the past and messed with Takezo Kensei's future; the Bennet family moved to California; Claire was stalked by a floating jackass; Mr. Bennet opened up a can of whup-ass on his pube-stache sporting boss; Parkman and Mohinder became Molly Walker's Two Daddies; Mohinder partnered up with Bennet to take down The Company; two Guatemalan siblings ran for the border, and one of them wound up killing a whole bunch of people with her special power; and Peter was found chained up in a container. Shirtless. You heard me. And you'll hear me again, because Peter's pretty much shirtless throughout this episode, and I don't care if you're a straight male who's watching this show: it's really all about Milo Ventimiglia without his damn clothes on and you know it.

We begin with Shirtless Peter, strapped to a chair, getting splashed with a big bucket of water. Oh, great. So now he's shirtless AND WET? I'm never getting through this episode. The two Irish henchmen from the end of the last episode are basically torturing Peter for information. They keep hitting him and hitting him, demanding to know where their damn iPods are, and all I can think is that Ireland must not have an Apple store anywhere in the country or, like, access to THE INTERNET because when the fuck did iPods become gangster currency? ["One thing I have learned from recapping Season 2 of The Wire is that folks love to fence stolen goods, and they don't really care what. Digital cameras, acetone, cars...I could go on." -- Wing Chun] We learn that the Irish gangsters hang out in a pub called "Wandering Rocks," and that's how I know that no one on the writing staff has ever been to Ireland: no self-respecting Irish publican would ever name their fucking bar "Wandering Rocks." That's practically like naming it "Shillelagh Stick" or "Erin Go Bragh's!" So, whatever, Peter's wet and shirtless and the leader of the Shamrock Boys is demanding to know where the hell Peter stashed the iPods, even though, hi, he was practically stapled to the inside of the container, with no iPods in sight, so I'm thinking that someone LOGICAL would maybe realize that Peter was a PRISONER not a THIEF. Why am I so angry? Shirtless Peter tells Sir Shamrock that he has no idea how he even got into the container, which might indicate that he also has no idea where the iPods are, but Sir Shamrock thinks it's fishy that Peter wound up in the one container they were going to rob. This storyline is completely retarded, but it affords us the opportunity to see Milo wet and naked, so I suppose I can allow it. But this scene can be summed up thusly: Shamrock Boys want the iPods, Shirtless Peter doesn't know where they are, so the Shamrock Boys continue to try and beat the information out of him.

Cut to the Bennet household, where poor Mrs. Bennet has accidentally dropped her wedding ring into a large pot of boiling water. Claire comes up and just reaches into the pot to get the ring, effectively blistering the shit out of her hand. It heals, of course, and her mother hilariously says, "We do have a colander, dear. No need to be flashy!" Hee. Claire thinks it's no big deal, but her mother points out that it WILL be a big deal if it gets her noticed. Claire thinks she should be able to be herself at home, at least, seeing as she can't be herself anywhere else. Her dad pops in and tells her that they want her to be herself, but that she has to lie low. Claire points out that, in high school, laying low is akin to announcing yourself as a gun-toting sociopath, so she'd really prefer it if she could get an identity already. Bennet tells her that they trust her, but that doesn't mean she can just go healing herself all over the dang high-school campus. Claire totally goes snotty on his ass, all, "Oh, sure, it's perfectly well and good for you to dress up in that stupid shirt and go to that boring-ass job at the copy place, but it's not okay for me to, like, join the cheerleading team or whatever because that's not BORING enough!" Bennet rightly snaps at Claire, saying that wearing the stupid shirt is not his job; working at the copy place is not his job; in fact, KEEPING THE FAMILY TOGETHER IS HIS JOB, so he'd appreciate a little more respect and a little less lip, thank you very much. Claire backs off and realizes that she's being unreasonable; she kisses her father and apologizes. They share a nice family moment when her mom brings her a poached egg and her father pours her a juice and they all realize that this is about as normal as they're ever going to get.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11Next

Heroes

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP