Heroes

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DeAnn Welker: C | Grade It Now!
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They Got Carnivale in Our Heroes

New York. Peter is in his ambulance, telling everyone over the radio that he and his partner are on something that's 12 blocks away. His partner says they won't get there with all the traffic, so Peter opts to "hoof it," telling his partner that there's always a shortcut. He goes all Spider-Man, running up walls and leaping onto fire escapes. When he arrives at the accident and finds a car on its side with a pregnant woman at the wheel, he rips the door off her car and says, "I'm here to save you." No one talks like that, show. Not even someone as pompous and whiney as Peter.

Back at Claire College, she's entering a classroom when Annie's all, "Roomie!" and calls her over to sit by her for this placement test thing. Annie hopes Claire's in the class so they can keep each other on their toes. But, like, no pressure and it's not a competition, okay? It's all about sisterhood. Claire tries to be sweet, but hates Annie as much as the rest of us. Anyway, the teacher -- Ted from QAF -- tells them that only 35 of them will get into this class, then he pulls down a complicated equation and starts a timer. Claire thinks it's impossible, and wonders if this is a joke, so Annie's like, "Are you sweating?" I really thought this would go somewhere, like maybe that equation would have something to do with the formula, but nope. Nothing. Except Claire hallucinates snipers shooting her with tranq darts and moans out loud. Then she leaves, telling Annie this class isn't for her. [Yes, basic algebra is clearly not for Claire. - Z]

In a New York ER, Peter's filling out paperwork, as his partner tells him that the woman he saved just had twins, and named them after him. Peter knows that's not true, because he knows everything about the woman, but he won't go visit her even though she'd like to thank him in person. What a weirdo. His partner seems to agree with me on this point. They continue in their locker room. Partner thinks Peter should be happy, since he saved three lives all on his own, but Peter says if he'd gotten there seconds later she wouldn't have made it, so he needs to be faster. Partner's all, "What?! You went faster than humanly possible." Peter finds out a shift he was trying to take was snagged by someone else, so he leaves, even though Partner totally wants to hang out. Get it, y'all? Peter's a lone reed.

Tokyo. A little girl tells Hiro and Ando her kitty cat, Muffin Man, is stuck up high on this building. Can they save him? They can't believe their first client's a cat, but Hiro volunteers Ando to climb up there "old school" and save him, since neither of their powers apply to this situation (and, let's be realistic: how many situations would these two's powers apply to? Not many). Ando gets Muffin Man, and then the little girls tells him the cat hates people. He starts scratching, and Ando falls. Which is why it's good Hiro stayed on the ground to freeze time and save everyone involved.

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Heroes

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