Previously on Heroes: A bunch of ordinary people discovered they had extraordinary powers. I shit you not, that's what the previouslies say. I'll be a bit more detailed and tell you that Peter "Powersuck" Petrelli and Claude "Dr. Where" Invisible buddied up to teach Peter how to control his powers, and all that happened was Claude smacked him around a bit and tossed him off a building, and it was totally awesome. Claire "Rah Rah Regenerator" met her real mother and we found out that her father is none other than Nathan "Flydaddy" Petrelli. Hiro "Yatta!" Nakamura confronted his father, George "Sulu" Takei and basically wasted precious minutes of show time by not furthering his storyline along AT ALL. And Jessica got out of prison but put Niki in one for good, and now Niki's hanging out in reflective surfaces wondering why her alter ego always has better hair than she does.
We pick up right where we left off, with Claire's birth mother calling Nathan at his office. Firemommy repeats her stuff about Claire and how she's alive, only this time, we just hear her on the phone instead of seeing her. This time, it's all about Nathan and his reaction to this news. He's stunned, basically. Firemommy says that they need to talk, and Nathan's like, um, sure. We can talk but, uh, it's been fourteen years, honey. I barely even remember you. Also? I kind of thought you were dead. Firemommy says that the fire that supposedly killed her was intentionally set; someone was out to get her. Everyone assumed she was dead, so she took the opportunity to run. "And our daughter?" gruffs Nathan. Why are those three words so sexy coming out of Adrian Pasdar's mouth? That's not even something sexy to say, it's just... how does he DO that?
Firemommy tells Nathan about Claire being adopted by a nice family in Texas (read: overprotective father who possibly just wanted to monitor Claire's superpowers up close and a ditzy dog-loving mother who may or may not remember anything prior to 1992) and that she's sixteen and beautiful. "She's got blonde hair like me," she says, "and she's smart, just like you. Oh, and she can regenerate herself on cue. Think that might have anything to do with the fact that you can fly and I can start fires with my fingertips? Maybe?" Firemommy makes a crack about Claire some day running for Congress and Nathan gets this look on his face like, uh-oh. I see where this is going. "The timing of this... your call, two weeks before my election, that--that's not a coincidence, is it?" he cautiously asks her. "Child born out of wedlock," she says, "that's big news. You wouldn't want it to come out. That could ruin things for you." Oh for fuck's sake. I KNEW she'd wind up being a scammer. I knew it! That just blows. Can't Claire have one normal, nice parent? I mean, yeah, her mother is lovely, but the woman plays kissyface with a puffy dog and has had half her brain removed by the Haitian Sensation! That poor girl is going to spend a fortune in therapy after she helps the other Heroes save the damn world.