Back at HRG's Thanksgiving of Awkward, Claire says college isn't where she's supposed to be. HRG wonders if this is about Gretchen, because that's just one relationship. Claire says it is, and also about Becky, and everything else. Sandra asks who Becky is, but Claire just, "Mom!"s her and moves on without answering, saying she doesn't belong in college. She might go live abroad for a year or get a job; who knows? He asks what about the $40,000 he just gave the school, and Claire says, "I don't know. Where'd it come from?!" HRG thinks this is about what Samuel said, and Sandra's like, "Who's Samuel? What's going on?" She wants to know what's happening, what HRG did. Claire says it's not about her dad; she's just a freak and people don't like freaks. Doug asks if he can interject something, and Sandra, HRG and Claire all yell, "No!" Lauren suggests everyone take a deep breath. Doug says he just wanted to say what Claire's feeling is perfectly normal, and nothing we haven't all felt. She looks pissed, but he goes on about growing up and discovering his penchant (he uses the French pronunciation, natch) for dog breeding didn't exactly make him popular. Claire's face is saying "Not. The. Same." Doug tells her to trust him; this will all blow over. Claire asks him really, will it, and then slices her arm open. Emo kids and their self-mutilation. He faints, and HRG glares at her and says, "Great." They should probably call the Haitian, but they don't want to interrupt his Thanksgiving. [Or, as it is known in Haiti, the "Eating of the Yams." - Z]