This is the LONGEST eclipse ever. I looked it up. The average one lasts about 7 minutes. This one takes about two hours.
Mohinder has gotten a copy of the World Book Encyclopedia and is learning all about eclipses. He's also got an address for Maya, which is in NJ, and makes me want to leave the state. Flint is being a dick and flicking his Zippo so much that it gives me a migraine. Mohinder and Flint get in a scuffle, and surprisingly and quite implausibly, Mohinder wins. He heads off to see Maya (NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) but he chickens out because he's disgusting. Then he goes back to the lab, now that he's all scale-covered and gross again.
Peter and the Haitian run through the jungle during the full on eclipse (which they both look at, despite the whole burning retina thing). Peter wants to prove he can be a hero without his powers. Nathan is chained up, speaking French and having a discussion with some prostitute girls when he's interrupted by The Haitian's self-proclaimed "God" brother. But since God is powerless during the eclipse too, the boys are able to take him down. Peter sends Nathan and The Haitian and the prostitutes off, and he and his death wish stay behind to buy some time. But then The Haitian and Nathan sneak back and save him. God is about to unleash his deadly wrath as the eclipse comes back. Nathan gets kinda badass. Then The Haitian layeth the smackdown on his brother in some sort of sick Vulcan mind meld thing. Peter and Nathan are all about the brotherly love, for a millisecond. Until Nathan gets the crazy eyes and becomes irrationally excited about the prospects of giving people powers, so they can be awesome like The Haitian. Peter is, of course, against this idea. Nathan flies off. Peter's left alone in the dark jungle with nothing but a prostitute and a flashlight.
Matt looks like a moron and has to have Daphne explain using little words that she has cerebral palsy. Daphne takes off as soon as she's free of the crutches. Matt's back to doing the head tilting on her dad. There's some annoying conversation about a scarecrow. Daphne shares a moment with her dad, which I would find touching, if I cared about this storyline at all.
Hiro and Ando are at Sam's Comics, goofing around with Breckin Meyer and Seth Green (woo hoo!). Hiro scans some back issues of "9th Wonders" (which makes me wonder who is writing/drawing this psychic comic since Isaac -- the original author is dead). Breckin puts together the whole eclipse thing. Freakin' highly-educated doctor doesn't get it, but second banana at comic store totally figures it out. Duh. Hiro has a panic attack and doesn't want to grow up. Seth has to give him a pep talk, even though he doesn't believe that he's really the guy from the comic book. The nerd boys analyze the comics in all their glory for clues on how to get Hiro's memory back. Hiro blinks off to save the cheerleader -- his goal again, just like the good old days. He leaves Ando in the middle of the store.
Matt and Daphne come to the comic shop. They want more copies of the comic, but apparently that was the last posthumous Isaac issue. See, I don't buy that. Isaac's stuff always seemed pretty of the moment, but whatever. Then Seth tells the tale of a mythic bike messenger who has Isaac's sketchbook. Wonder if he's a speedster too, like Hermes!
Sylar and Elle do it (and by "it" I mean sex) at the House of Vortex. They talk about the chance to reinvent themselves. Then a laser from HRG's gun points at Sylar's head. which causes Sylar to start running around half naked. Elle gets shot. They make their way to a drug store, where they take some ace bandages and scare a hapless clerk. HRG is busy hunting down Sylar and Elle when he gets a call from Sandra saying that Claire's in the hospital. He's all kinds of pissed off. Sylar, or Gabriel, as Elle prefers, protects her and goes after HRG. They have a rockin' knock down drag out fight. It's kind of the best thing I've seen on this show in ages. It involves a box cutter. No! Not the hair! No! Not the throat. HRG's a total badass and slices through Sylar's jugular.
Claire is rushed to the hospital. The hospital is skeptical that she's never been sick. Claire complains that it hurts and Sandra pushes her to take some drugs. I foresee a very special episode where Claire gets hooked on pain killers and has to go to rehab. She starts seizing, which is actually pretty convincing. She even gets her chest cracked and "dies", but then the eclipse is over and she's magically alive again and they've got some 'splaining to do. They bust out of the hospital and head for home, where finally Claire gets to confront HRG. She's all angry that he's never around.
Then it all comes down to Casa Bennet. Sylar's alive, and he's got Sandra, and he's got his powers back. He and Elle want Claire, and a little bit of revenge against HRG. HRG says that the Petrellis aren't his parents, and Elle knows the truth. Dun-dun-dun. Just then Hiro blinks in, snags "bad man" (Sylar) and wooshes him off somewhere, comes back, and does the same with Elle. Sylar and Elle are on a beach together, which nearly leads to more sexytimes, until he slices her brain open. Hiro comes back again for Claire, says "save the cheerleader," and he takes her back to the day that she was foisted on HRG. It's almost like the show I used to like. Almost. -- Angel Cohn
God, what a massive, colossal waste of time almost every bit of these last two episodes have been. "Game-changer," my ass -- the only meaningful development is the loss of Kristen Bell, which as ideas go is up there with putting Maya and Mohinder together and having two Peters running around at once. With its bloated budget, I would not be shocked if the network found a way to axe the show mid-season. But ranting is not going to make this recap go any faster, so...
...we start back in Haiti, where Peter is running to keep up with The Haitian, who lets us know -- again -- that he has no powers. Peter points out that The Haitian told him all this happened for a reason: to test their resolve. He... did? Has my memory been tampered with, just like Hiro's? It would explain why I don't remember the eclipse having fuck-all to do with anyone's powers, at least. Peter makes the point that Samedi's abilities are gone at the moment as well, but The Haitian trumps that argument by reminding us about the private little army from which they just got a lot of cardiovascular exercise fleeing. The Haitian doesn't add that if he had his powers, he'd be able to take Samedi's away, but that will be addressed soon enough. Instead, he tells Peter that Samedi's followers think he's a god, so Peter suggests they disabuse them of that notion. The Haitian asks Peter why he came there, and astutely doesn't buy Peter's first response that he came to bring The Haitian back to stop his father, so Peter confesses that he "needed to know he could be a hero without his powers." I'm in favor of this experiment, given that it will prove that Peter's a douchebag loser with or without abilities, but somehow I doubt he's going to see it that way regardless of what happens. The Haitian apparently is moved by this argument, and they head off, but not before Peter incurs more corneal damage by looking up at the damned eclipse AGAIN.
An ashen Claire is being wheeled urgently down a hospital corridor on a gurney, telling us that she's in pain as Sandra hustles alongside to keep up with her. One of the medics then disengages from the crowd and stops Sandra by asking her when the injury occurred, and, when Sandra responds that it just happened, curtly says it would be better if she were honest here, as Claire's whole system is infected, which means either Sandra's lying or "she's never been sick in her whole life." Is that actually true, or another retcon? I feel like maybe that was actually said at one time, but it makes no sense if everyone's powers were supposed to have been turned on by the first eclipse. Whatever, they don't care, why should I, right? Anyway, Sandra balks, so the nurse tells her she'll have to come clean to the police, and adds that she doesn't know if Claire is going to be okay. She departs, and Sandra watches worriedly through the glass.