Heroes
Heroes

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: C- | 2310 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Seth Green And Breckin Meyer…

Outside, a man with Horn-Rimmed Glasses (I think I'll call him HRG) follows a trail of blood that came from someone or other. Oh, it's a blonde girl and a guy with bushy eyebrows, who lurk fearfully nearby as HRG yells at them to run, and that he wants them to be scared, just like someone named "Claire" was at some point in the past. HRG adds, "This ends today." That's meaningless to me, but I'm sure a lot of people out there care! You, apparently, are watching "Heroes." If you get a moment, maybe you could explain to someone with no memory exactly why that is?

Okay, that amused me momentarily. Back in Haiti, Nathan is chained up in a cell he's sharing with two terrified sisters, and after struggling with his bonds a bit, he introduces himself in French and assures them he's their friend. The older sister responds to his greeting, but Samedi ruins the moment by entering and babbling about the power of names or some shit, and then some of his minions start hauling the older one out of there as Samedi explains that like all his prisoners, she'll be sold. Nathan hammily yells that he's not going to let Samedi do this, and Samedi displays better manners than I expected by not actually laughing in his face.

Mohinder's reading about eclipses in a book, like I'm so sure that (a) he's going to find anything related to mutant powers in what looks like an encyclopedia, and (b) if, as seems to be the common wisdom now, everyone's powers manifested in the first one, he wouldn't have DONE THIS RESEARCH SOME TIME IN THE PAST. Even worse, we then see that Mohinder has written Maya's address on a Post-It note, although I find it strangely hilarious that she's living in Montville, NJ. I mean, of course to get Mohinder to her during the eclipse they had to place her near Pinehearst, but the fact that they didn't put her someplace hipper like Hoboken or even Jersey City suggests even the writers have some idea how boring she is. We then hear some noises from behind Mohinder, and as he looks back we see that Flint is in the room, apparently keeping an eye on him as he plays with a lighter like Pyro in X-Men. Arthur then enters, and when Mohinder offers him no explanation about their powers not working and whines that Arthur is holding him there against his will, Arthur tells him that being powerless makes him vulnerable. Despite the seemingly obvious truth of that statement, Mohinder opines that Arthur is "paranoid," and Arthur replies, "Very much so." Well, paranoia is usually at least mildly interesting to watch, so add that to the list of things Arthur can suck the life out of. Flint manhandles Mohinder for a bit, and then Arthur leaves with this: "I'm counting on your help, Doctor." Considering the eclipse will be over in a couple hours (or minutes in real life), maybe he could help you by suggesting you CHILL THE FUCK OUT.

Heroes

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