Heroes

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Couch Baron: B- | Grade It Now!
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Taste My Soup!
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Shut up, Mohinder.

Okay, I suppose I have to do a little more than that. We get a replay of Hiro eating the Magic Carpet Paste and collapsing. We zoom in on his milky eye...

...and then we're at a gala gathering at the Petrelli Manse, eighteen months earlier. Papa Petrelli is toasting Nathan as "the finest assistant D.A. New York has ever known," and no offense to Nathan or anyone else who's held that position, but we're not in the Batman universe where people might seriously care. Nathan and Peter are looking sharp in their tuxes, however, and I'm also happy to see Peter's floppy bangs again, not that they're aesthetically pleasing -- they just take me back to a time when the show was, you know, good. Papa Petrelli then praises Peter for his "compassionate heart," and Peter gets in a good one to his brother: "Told you he couldn't say 'nurse' out loud." Heh. Papa Petrelli then toasts Mama Petrelli (screw it -- they're "Arthur" and "Angela" from now on -- my fingers can't take it anymore) as "the love of [his] life," and due to the way they proceed to paw at each other, when Nathan tells them "Get a room," the next thing out of my mouth is, "Jinx!" Angela lets us know that they've now been married for forty-one years, making her better preserved than I realized, and then Linderman appears and offers the two of them rather solicitous congratulations. (Does Malcolm McDowell have something on the writing staff? They keep finding ways to give him work, you know?)

After the Petrelli parents disappear, Linderman then turns to Nathan and asks, "Are the rumors true?" Notice how guilty Peter suddenly looks. Actually, he's heard that Nathan's office is about to launch a full-scale investigation "into all things Linderman," and after Nathan makes a joke that shoots for both menacing and funny and lamely achieves neither, he and Peter run off to keep the rumors alive, leaving Linderman to ask Arthur what he sees in Nathan's mind. Arthur uses his mind mojo (I wonder if he stole that power from someone?) and then replies, "Trouble." Linderman somewhat sarcastically says he can handle the heat, but Arthur tells him he's more worried about himself, and Linderman urgently responds, "He's gonna see your hand behind every enterprise I've been working on for the past twenty-five years!" I guess Caligula was too effed up even for Arthur. Actually, I forgot that we saw Nathan and Peter discuss this in Season One. Linderman suggests Arthur try one last time to convince Nathan to back off, but Arthur thinks that would be futile, so Linderman asks what they should do. Arthur: "Read your Shakespeare. When the son challenges the father, only one is left standing." Unlike when the son challenges the stepfather, and no one survives. Arthur concedes that he owes Nathan one more talk, but says if that doesn't work, he'll kill him. He then looks at Nathan, and given that he's been staring at him and Linderman like a psycho this entire time, I think Arthur's pessimism about their upcoming chat is warranted.

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Heroes

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