Upon returning from tribal council, Jason tells us that he wants to be in a different tribe. He gets his wishes at the reward challenge, where Probst tells everyone to drop their buffs. Ozzy and Natalie become team captains of Malakal and Airai ,respectively, and choose their teams. Ozzy's new team consists of Joel, Amanda, Erik, Ami, Tracy, Cirie, and Chet, while Natalie has James, Alexis, Jonathan, Jason, Parvati, Kathy, and Eliza. For the reward challenge, two teammates are bound to each other and sent onto an obstacle course full of danger and doom to chase a bound pair from the other team and try to grab a flag attached to their backs. This probably seemed like a really cool challenge idea in theory, but in practice, it's kind of a disaster as everyone gets hurt, most notably Jonathan, who somehow gets stabbed in the knee and ends up needing Survivor medics for a hard-to-watch stitching session. The contest comes down to Unfrozen Caveman Firefighter and Chet chasing Eliza and Parvati, and Joel drags Chet around the course without giving him a chance to get his footing, which makes him look like a giant asshole and gives Airai an unlikely win. The reward is a delicious feast, although they unfortunately have to bring it back to the crappy Airai camp, which the Favorites set about building new shelters for. And at the Malakal camp, Amanda somehow manages to kill a freaking shark, which was crazy. At the immunity challenge, contestants throw rocks at tiles to break them and release puzzle pieces that will be assembled correctly on a giant game board. Even though Airai fall behind, they quickly come back to win it, thanks to Eliza's solving abilities and Joel's insistence on countering Chet's leadership to make him look bad. Joel heads back to camp ready to rack up the votes against Chet, which Ozzy, Amanda, and Erik seem happy to provide. But then there's Cirie, who rightly senses that if Chet goes, she'll be next. She teams up with Tracy and tries to convince Ozzy and Amanda to vote for Joel, but it doesn't look good. Shockingly (or at least, I was shocked. I thought Chet was a goner for sure!), it's Joel who gets the boot with SIX of eight votes, and he storms off while Cirie and Tracy exchange well-earned triumphant smiles. Animal murder, injuries, and delicious scheming -- a very satisfying episode indeed!
So I thought my substitute recapping was over, but then Miss Alli threw down her recap immunity idol, leaving me with no choice but to do this week's as well. I actually tried to throw down my recap immunity idol first, but it turns out it was a fake one that Miss Alli created and planted when she found the real one on TWoP Exile Island. You guys, it was really embarrassing. I mean, the fake idol didn't look that good but I just figured that was because Wing Chun was really bad at carving or something. I guess I should have known.
Anyway! The "Fans" return to camp, where Jason sulks around the fire and tells us he thought his tribe would make the "right" decision, but they didn't. I think they did. Mikey was annoying. Then again, I'm not starving and I don't need Mikey's physical strength to help me win food reward challenges. Also, I brush my hair. So Jason and I are very different. It soon becomes morning, and Jason is still at the campfire, seemingly glaring at Chet. Jason tells us they'll probably just keep on losing now. Yes, unlike when they had Mikey on their team and they won all the time. Except...they didn't. "The tribe I'm in is not the tribe I want to be in," Jason sighs. Well, I'm sure there's nothing he can do about that. Meanwhile, Chet and Tracy take a victory stroll. Emboldened with a little too much confidence, Chet mutters that he wants Jason out next. "I can't wait to see him go. Sorry, dude," says the guy who just the night before was being all Negative Nancy and saying he thought he was going home and didn't do a whole lot to change that.
Hey! When did the show start removing eliminated contestants from the opening credits? That is harsh!
Over at the "Fans" tribe, it's Day 12 for the contestants and Day Zero for Charlie the Rooster. "Everybody's all excited to eat Charlie the Chicken," Cirie tells us from behind a bunch of leaves. They couldn't have removed that bush from the shot? It's taking up more of the frame than Cirie is! Cirie, of course, won't be participating in the chicken slaughter. She thinks it's gross and even though she works in surgery, "I don't want to see a dead bloody chicken flapping everywhere." Well, I'm going to assume the kind of surgery she does does not involve decapitating patients, but who knows? They just said she was a nurse; they didn't say she was a good nurse. James and Ami put Charlie on a stump and then Ozzy does the dirty work, which we don't get to see because PETA would shed some really loud protest tears about it. Not like I want to see a dead chicken anyway. Unless it's fried and ON MY PLATE! Oh!!! We cut to Eliza and then the rest of the tribe reacting with some PETA-pleasing "poor Charlie's" while their mouths water.
Ozzy takes advantage of the excitement to hide his immunity idol in some rocks. Then he scampers off, congratulating himself on an idol well-hidden. Man, I don't know. Why can't he just keep it in his bag? Or is he afraid someone would go through his stuff and steal it? Are they even allowed to do that? If they find it in his hiding place, can they then steal it for themselves? I'm not up to speed on the idol-possession laws here. Ozzy says he won't show anyone the idol, but he will tell a select few about it. First up is James, and the two exchange manly celebratory back slaps. Then he goes to Parvati and Amanda and says, sounding, like, ten years old: "don't tell anyone, but I told James but I found the idol!" The girls giggle in delight. Why is Ozzy telling anyone this? Seriously, why? And why would they be happy? The idol doesn't prevent them from being voted off, so why would they care? If anything, wouldn't they be bummed that it meant they now couldn't get the idol? Amanda tells Ozzy she's "so proud of him," then tells us that the idol is "in our little four-clique and I think it's going to stay in our little four-clique, so we're like the powerhouse right now." Again, I have no idea why Ozzy having the idol changes anything for the other three.