Dan and Nicole's date. Dan looks at the sunset and says it's "like a canvas that just keeps changing." Whatever, troll. Dan and Nicole clink their wine glasses together; Dan blathers something about having a good time, but also apparently he's kept asking Nicole why she asked him out on the Hall Pass. Nicole takes a deep breath. "Okay." Oh, no. She laughs nervously. "Uh, let me " Oh, no. "Take your time," says Dan. He takes a sip from his Blue Hawaii. Jesus, he's drinking Chardonnay and a mixed drink at the same time. Oh, no. TS: "Oh, YES." Nicole says that she "just knew" she'd wanted to ask him right away. "When I saw you...I just knew." In voice-over: "I don't think Dan knows the extent of how much I worshipped him, or how much I stalked him in high school...and I don't know, you know, the nice way to tell him." Oh, no. Dan thinks that her swift decision to ask him out "is cool, you, know, like it was cool, like, when you said, you know?" He blathers on like that for awhile and then decides to stall for more time by talking about how, like, it was cool with the way she asked him out, you know, how it was, like cool, it chilled, yeah. And then just shuts up. Heh. Oh, no. What else can you do after that but drink a lot and let a creepy song play on the soundtrack. Nicole's the girl for Dan! Nicole's the girl for Dan! Gotta make him see! Oh, no.
We see the rest of Ben and Natasha's date, which can now be called How To Go On A Date With A Virtual Stranger And Admit That You Had A Huge Crush On Them In High School Without Making It Totally Creepy. Tips: 1) Drink only wine. 2) Don't be Nicole.
Back at the house, Maurice and Tim are in the hot tub. "I love you," Maurice says, grabbing Tim and kissing him. Tim slaps him. "You bitch," says Maurice. "You don't have a Hall Pass!" says Tim. Yep. Drama people never change. Dave repeatedly dunks Summer and flings her violently around the pool like he's the Crocodile Hunter. Summer just squeals. Jeff gets completely naked and belly-flops in the pool. Tradition of Excellence, people.
Maurice and Dave do the dishes and Maurice talks to him about how much of a jerk he was to everyone -- friends, acquaintances, teachers, girls, the elderly, puppies, kittens, whoever. Dave says in an interview that maybe if someone is still mad at him from ten years ago, he'd talk to them or something, "but I resolved it for myself ten years ago." Whatever. Dave's a shithead, he's an assface, he's Honey Bunches of Dick cereal.













Comments