High School Reunion
Episode 1

Episode Report Card
Wendola: B+ | Grade It Now!
Episode 1

Natasha, the Popular Girl, says she had it "very easy" in high school. "I had a lot of friends, dated a lot of different boys." KK: "Including, uh, Dan Barbato." Now Natasha is working as a cocktail waitress and trying to be an actress. "I don't want to be considered a loser," she says. In separate interviews, all the guys talk about how beautiful she is. Tim says he never remembered anything in chemistry class because she was in it with him. JS: "Um, I think he never remembered anything because of the WEED." Dan said he "admired her from afar" in high school. KK: "Wait, what?" Ben says he would have loved to have asked Natasha out.

Next up: Dave Goodman, the Bully.

KK: Auggh!!! SUCH! An! ASSHOLE!
TS: He is LATENT. So gay.

"I always had fun at someone else's expense," says Dave. "Who didn't make fun of somebody in high school?" From his bio segment we learn that Dave spent a lot of time making fun of people, and also hurling baseballs with a certain severely face-contorting rage. TS: "Gay rage! I'm telling you." In an interview that took place before the reunion, Chris says that he'd least like to see Dave Goodman. "Because I hate him," he says. Ben says that Dave once spat on him "in the van," which I'm assuming means during a team-related trip when they all did sports together. Dave snorts that "they were nerds" -- by "they," I guess he means Ben and Chris (KK: "Yeah, those two hung out together") -- and he proceeds to tell a story about how he put crackers in Chris's underwear, "and he sweated 'em into a mulch." The way Dave seems to really cherish that memory of Chris, underwear, and sweat makes me think that Tori has a point.

When Dave rears his pinchy little head at the reunion, the camera cuts over to Chris. Oh, fuck, thinks Chris. "[Dave]'s just as bad as he was in high school," he says in an interview. "Maybe even worse."

Everyone stands around and drinks foofy tropical drinks and contributes their thoughts about the reunion. Patricia: "Blah blah blah such good vibes and energy!" Summer: "Everyone seems really happy blah blah bibbety blah!" Chris: "Yadda yadda want to form lasting relationships with people!" Dan: "I'm definitely interested getting to know the ladies here!" Everybody: "TROLL!!" Nicole: "I'm thinking that by the end of two weeks, I'll definitely be Mrs. Barbato!" Wow. She made that joke before. It's a joke, right? RIGHT?

We pause for commercials, drinking, freaking the hell out, and troll anecdotes.

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High School Reunion




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