High School Reunion
Episode 1

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Episode 1

Ben and Natasha get ready for their date in a slightly unsettling soft-focus, often slow-motion sequence, complete with a creepy song with even creepier lyrics: How'd Natasha got to be so beautiful? How'd Ben get to be so big and tall? Well, that's not how they go exactly, but still. Auggghh. Stop it. These people are almost thirty. Natasha says in her interview that she's a little nervous because she's never really talked to Ben. "It's like a blind date almost -- like, a date with a stranger." Natasha walks in slow motion down the stairs, and she and Ben walk in slow motion out the door.

Some of the other classmates talk about Ben in the kitchen. Chris notes that Ben totally shot up in height and has this confidence that he didn't have before. "He was fairly introverted throughout high school," says Maurice. "I heard he's a millionaire," says Chris. Everyone's like, "Oh?" "He kind of played it off when I asked him about it," says Chris. In an interview, Amy says she's not surprised, because Ben's a smart guy. "He's still Ben, but just happens to have a lot of money." Oh, God. We already have a reality show for this.

Ben and Natasha snorkle. Heh heh -- that sounds dirty.

Dave and Dan, The Tooly Twosome, sit around with Jeff and snark that Natasha probably wishes she were out with some other guy. Dan says in his interview, "When Ben got to take Natasha out on his little date, it was fine with me. To be completely honest, I don't think he has a shot with her."

Nicole gets all dolled up in a strapless red dress, and she looks really nice, except somehow the way she walks sort of ruins the effect -- like, whoa, watch it, Lurchy. She walks into the kitchen, and all the other classmates yell, "Woo!" Everyone tells Nicole she looks nice, and tells Dan to treat her like a lady. She says in an interview, "I think we're going to take this time to get to know each other, and then in a week, a week and a half...he'll propose." With a straight face she says this. So help me God. Help her.

During their car ride, Dan pulls all sorts of things out of his ass like, "Yeah, seriously, we're going to have fun tonight" and "I'm glad you gave me little card [the Hall Pass]; like, seriously." He ever so casually asks her if she thought about asking anybody else or what. Nicole laughs nervously when she says no. Dan's all, "Seriously, it's great catching up with you." Oh, yeah, like she's going to reminisce about all the good times with him, like, "Remember when I used to walk backwards through the hallway holding up that compact mirror looking at you?" Dan notes that they didn't talk much in high school. Nicole says that they never had a class together. And if she knew that, you know that has to mean she had a secret binder with a laminated copy of his class schedule and a map of the school with heart stickers over all the classrooms where he'd be and little notes to herself like, "Memo: change last name to 'Bedmond' to get A-Period Homeroom with D.B."

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High School Reunion

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