Morning at the Casa de Classmates. Once again our host Mike Richards clangs the stupid gong to wake everyone up. Kong! Kong! Kong! He swings the mallet stiffly and more than just a little passive-aggressively. This week he's like that guidance counselor who was always trying to get you to come by his office and then, when you never did, became a complete asshole. Kong! Nobody wants to hang with Mr. Richards, huh? Kong! Everyone's too cool for Mr. Richards, eh? Kong! Maurice tells the other classmates, "Mike's been hitting the bong again." People laugh. Yeah, go on, laugh at Mr. Richards. Kong! Kong! Mike keeps hitting the gong. Get up, you little shits! Everyone staggers downstairs. Dan B. hugs Summer playfully. There's a shot of Natasha standing around looking annoyed, but for all we know she could have been just waiting to use the bathroom or something. Versatile actress, that Natasha.
Kong! Kong! Everyone makes their way outside to the patio. "I've got another game for you guys," says Mike Richards. Everyone pretends to be excited. "It's called 'Rumor Mill,'" says Mike Richards. Everyone groans. Mike Richards tells them they'll all have a chance to anonymously write down questions for their fellow classmates. "This is your chance to get to the bottom of those high school rumors that are kind of floating around still," he says. "As well as those rumors that are floating around the house now." Everyone is excited again. Get those rumors out in the open! Tie Patricia to a chair! Throw cold water on her until she coughs up all her gossip! Oh, wait, I guess the game doesn't involve that. Too bad.
One by one the classmates walk up to a table in a secluded part of the garden and write down their questions on pieces of thick, handmade parchment paper-- paper that looks exactly like the ballot paper on Survivor. It's reality paper. Regular paper can't handle the truth! Thanks to my Tivo's pause feature, I can tell you what some of the questions are. Someone writes: Is it true, Summer, that you bedded down with a teacher during high school? Someone else wants to know if Chris was really a womanizer in high school. Sarah holds up her question: Jeff: is it true you've never dated? Another question is Dan B., is it true you got really drunk and kissed a guy in college? Someone else wants to know if it's true that what Dave likes most is a good, hard spanking.