High School Reunion

Episode Report Card
Wendola: B | 488 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The Ass Pass

Again with the ssshhheeeeeeeewwwwww! sound effect. Or maybe it's the sound of all common sense being sucked out of the room as Jason marches up the stairs to present a single red rose to Patricia. Patricia is sitting with Holly and Nicole. "You look very nice this evening," Jason says. "I had a really good time on that cruise," he says. "And I was thinking I would ask you on the Hall Pass," he says. "Will you accept?" Aww, Jason. It's like he's trying to read the cue cards in his head. Patricia takes the rose and says, "Yeah, that's really nice." "Were you thinking the same thing?" he asks. "Yeah, I was thinking it would be really fun to go," Patricia says. "Thank you!" In an interview, Patricia says, "I don't know why I said yes." Oh, I have a theory, Compliment Slut. "I was like, 'Damn, okay, get out of my face, I'll go with you!'" she says.

More Ben and Maya blah blah blah. Ben puts on a black satin bowling shirt with this sort of gold faux-lizard collar and trim going on -- like, whoa, Andrew Dice Gaylord. Ben hangs around the pool table and talks with Jason and Dave and Maurice about asking Maya out on the Ass Pass. He asks Dave if he has any "insider information." The other guys gather around and give him advice, but Ben's all hemming and hawing. Man, his shirt's got more ego than he does. In fact, I think it's leaching ego out of him. The guys are telling him to just go and ask her. "Aw, well, I don't know if that's my style," says Ben. "Yo! Ladies!" says Ben's shirt. Ben decides he'll ask Maya after he makes another shot at pool. He misses. "Nice shot, chump-ass," says his shirt.

Meanwhile, JockDan goes upstairs. He calls Maya aside and shuts a door for privacy. "Did Jason ask Patricia out on the twenty-four-hour date?" he whispers. Maya says yes. "Do you want to go on the twenty-four-hour date with me?" he asks her. Maya explains in voice-over that she and JockDan had talked earlier in the day about maybe going together, and it sounded fine with her. From what I can tell, it sounds like JockDan wanted to ask Patricia, but had talked with Maya about going together "just for fun" if those plans fell through and if Ben didn't ask Maya. Downstairs, Maurice is telling Ben that Maya really dug his compliments at the cocktail party and he should just make his move. "If you want it, you have to go after it," says Maurice. "Women are just crazy bitches!" says Ben's shirt. Ben is finally persuaded to go ask Maya. He leads Maya out on the upstairs porch and asks her to go on the Ass Pass. Maya explains that she thinks they'd have fun, but JockDan asked her first, even though JockDan really wanted to go with Patricia, and she tells Ben that she was just so completely convinced that he had become a spineless wretch in a tacky shirt who'd never ask her that she'd had no choice but to accept the invitation of JockDan, stupid backwards visor and all. This isn't verbatim, but you get the idea.

High School Reunion

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