Note: I watched this final episode at the cast viewing party at the Landmark Arts Gallery in Chicago. Thanks to Summer for inviting me, and thanks to everyone else in the cast for not, like, kicking my ass.
The Ass Passers return from their overnight dates. Holly and Dave are the first to return to the house, and the rest of the classmates start in with the mandatory nudge-nudging and wink-winking, because, after all, it's why they're there. In an interview, Dave says it was great to be with Holly and "to have a situation where it was just her and I." Man, I sure hope the OPRF English faculty has a kick-ass drinking game for all these grammar mistakes. "Misuse of subject-case pronouns," says Dave's old teacher. "Oh, crap -- two drinks for me." "Was it an Honors class, Saundra? Because then you have to do a shot." "Fuck! Fuck myself!" Holly unties the wrapping on the bouquet of roses Dave got her and playfully puts the twine around Tim's neck. "You can wear this for Prom," she says. Why? Is it hemp?
Ben and Maya's minivan pulls into the driveway. They're at it again with the gimmicky video quick-rewind-play-forward-again stuff: The van pulls in! Then it backs up! Then it goes ahead! It's like Ben and Maya's relationship! In an interview, Maya says, "We had a good kiss! We definitely did! It was enough to make me uncomfortable." Ohhhh. We get it now. Hey, Maya? That feeling you call "uncomfortable"? Most people call it "horny." In Ben's interview, he says that after the kiss, he and Maya talked. "She seemed to respond pretty well -- she seemed interested," he says. Most people say "interested," but Maya would probably use the word "itchy." Well, as long as they understand each other. "Things are definitely up in the air with Ben and I," says Maya. The English faculty drinks some more. "Hey Ted, she was in your AP class! Ha! That's THREE drinks. And buy the next round." "You're speaking in sentence fragments, Brenda." "It's colloquial, ASS."
Dan Barbato and Natasha leave their Mutual Self-Love Shack, or whatever you want to call it. Barbato says that "we were able to make a connection," but they're one day closer to going home. They get into the minivan. There's a shot of them riding in the van together, apparently making a great effort to ignore each other in classic Morning After mode. Except it was filmed on their way to the cabin instead of on the drive home -- you can tell by the clothes. Natasha voices over that she's "confused." No kidding, with continuity like this. As they're walking in, Natasha says to Dan, "You're not going to tell them about what happened, right?" They're just going to refer to their supposed sex in front of a camera, right? Yeah. They talk with Dave in the kitchen. "Did you guys fall in love last night?" Dave asks them. What? People have to ask? Their completely overstated performance didn't make it obvious? "Did you?" Natasha asks. "Uhhhh " says Dave. They start talking about Prom. "It was kind of obvious that Dan and I were going to go to the Prom together?" says Natasha, in an interview. Natasha needs everything to be obvious? And to be said with an inflection that makes everything sound like a question? That doesn't need to be answered? Because, like, it's obvious? In the kitchen, Dan extends an arm out theatrically and asks her to Prom. Natasha voices over, "I just paused, to pretend like I didn't know" -- because she's worried that her pretending not be obvious isn't obvious enough to us -- "and then I said yes."