Back at the house, the girls are getting ready -- putting their hair in rollers, putting on facial masks. I have to give Patricia credit for knowing that Queen Helene Mint Julep Masque kicks ass, even though it's one of the cheapest things out there. Seriously. By way of some blatantly expositional dialogue between Tim and Maurice that I won't even bother to recap, plus some recycled voice-over sound bites from Summer, we learn that Tim is making up for his huge mistake in not asking Summer to Prom ten years ago by taking her tonight. It's his chance to make it right! Do or die! The girls continue to primp. Summer shows off her dress, which she got for twenty bucks. "Are you serious?" says Nicole. Hey, when you make art for a living, you know how to work a sale. The guys button their cuffs and cummer their bunds, or whatever. Jason says, "I'm going stag, but it's all right." Well, he thinks that a pair of sport sunglasses is a great formalwear accessory, so no wonder. Jeff says he's taking Sarah, "and she was showing her boobs last night, so I'm guessing I'm gonna get some." Back in her room, Sarah says, "I'll think I'll impress him -- show him some boob." Aww, they are like one with the boob jokes. The snappy one-liners come fast and furious now. Chris: "Somebody better get laid tonight, because we're looking good." Tim: "I feel pretty slick!" Jeff: "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!" Dave: [Stupid hyena laugh.] The guys all pose for a picture in their dress shirts and cummerbunds. The array of cummerbund colors make them look sort of like waiters at a gay dinner theatre, but they look swell otherwise.
Summer comes down the stairs all glammed out. Maya and Natasha compliment her, just for the sake of giving a compliment. Tim shows up with Summer's corsage and she puts it on, and they hug, and she's very excited. Then Tim starts kind of hemming and hawing. "Uh, Summer? Uh " This makes Summer even more hyper: "Aww! You're too cute! You're all nervous!" She claps her hands, even. Tim starts wringing his and says, "Look, there is nothing more in the world right now that I would like to do than take you to the prom --" "Woooooo!" says Summer. Oops, that is so not the right response. Chill, Summer. "Instead, I have to give you something," says Tim. "You look so serious! What?" says Summer. He takes out another Secret Admirer envelope, and she reads it, which sets off another round of shrieking intercut with moments of confusion expressed at normal voice levels: "OH MY GOD!!! What? OH!!! AUGHH!!! Oh, wait. Is this you? OH MY GOD AIEEEEEEEEE!!! Huh." Tim tells her it's not him, and there's a limo waiting for her out front. Tim walks her out, while the rest of the classmates follow to see what's going on. He opens the door to a white limo, and Summer peeks in, and she's like, "Uh, there's nobody in there," and Tim tells her it'll take her someplace, and then she's all "AIEEEEEEEEEEE!" again. For Summer, comprehension = screaming. "I have to go someplace else now? Where I am I going?" she asks Tim. "Je ne sais pas," says Tim. "And I have to leave everybody?" says Summer. "Aiieeeeeyahh-ah!" Well, okay, I guess confusion also = screaming for Summer. She hugs Tim and then does this little pee-pee dance. By now everyone's screaming for her to get in the car, like, before she completely loses her shit. Seriously, it's getting so she can only communicate in squeaks and squeals, like a dolphin. The limo pulls away. Everyone asks Tim what's going on. "I know nothing," he says. Everyone's like, "Bullshit!"