MONDO EXTRAS

Yeah, they almost never showed anyone smoking.

Well, we kept putting pot on the grocery list, but they'd never get it for us.

But did they get you whatever you wanted otherwise?

Yeah, once we figured that out, we started requesting all kinds of things. Mo [Maurice] was really into making the lists up. It was weird because sometimes they'd get us really cheap food, but then they'd buy us $30 bottles of liquor.

Heh heh -- sometimes I wondered if you guys were in a total drunken haze the whole time.

Well, there'd be a lot of drinking, but you wouldn't necessarily be drunk. Well, some people were shit-faced drunk every night…and then after awhile they started getting shit-faced drunk every day.

I think I would.

Oh -- another thing that didn't make it on the show? The night me and Jeff K did our testicle tricks.

[choking]

Sure, Puppetry of the Penis sells out when it tours around the country, so we thought we'd bring it to the WB, right? We thought maybe they'd show it because people's reactions were just classic.

Oh, God. You guys didn't do "the hamburger," did you? I'm sorry to say I know what that looks like.

That, and also "The Red Balloon." Mention "The Red Balloon" by name, that's all I ask.

Yeah, and now I'll never again think of that sweet little French film when I hear that name. THANKS.

Man, if you wanted to hear some Summer squeals -- she was like "AAAAAIIIIIIIAAAAAAUUUGGGGHHH!!!!"

Okay, I totally have to change the subject now.

[Note: Tim had ordered a hamburger, which didn't help things. Also, it occurs to me that maybe I should have verified with Summer or someone else that these testicle tricks actually did occur, but obviously I was too traumatized, and whether it's true or not, if I had to visualize this, I think it's only fair that the rest of you do, too.]

So who won those mock elections?

Well, we made up some of our own categories because we didn't like all the ones that the producers gave us. Patricia cleaned up that night -- in addition to Prom Queen, she won Best Female Body. Dan P. won Best Male Body -- or Sexiest, or whatever. Chris was The Most Likely To Succeed in The Next Ten Years; Ben was Most Improved; Dan Barbato was Still Stuck In '92, which -- well, whatever, I mean, I still like to listen to BloodSugarSexMagik. Mo got Best Cook, because he cooked all the time, Sarah got Best Mom, because she really kind of took care of all of us…you really didn't see that on the show.