Beirut Is Back

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 5 USERS: B+
The Carrie That Did This

Jessica: "Don't talk like that. In there, I mean. When it's not about my image you can talk however you want, I don't care at all what you do. Just behave for like, one hour."
Dana: "A whole hour?"
Jessica: "Okay, you're kind of cute. Don't quote me. On another topic, your dad said you walked in on him praying. Like, what does that look like?"
Dana, after impersonating him: "It was actually kind of weird."
Jessica: "Glad to hear it."

Mrs. Walden: "Jessica, hello! And Dana! Finn's told me all about you."
Brodys: "Well, that's disconcerting..."
Mrs. Walden: "Not at all, it's nice to meet one of his friends. Maybe even his first, ever."
Jessica: "Is there somewhere I can stash my ungrateful dau... I mean, Jessica was hoping she could find a place to do homework."
Mrs. Walden: "The East Library is just up those stairs, past the swimming pool, take a right at the tiger habitat and thence through the gallery of haunted candelabra. Locate the mantel panel that differs from the others in the shape of its carven rosette, give that sucker a quarter-twist to the right, and a door will slide open. Couldn't be simpler."

Jessica: "Glad we got rid of her! Now, what I can do for you?"
Mrs. Walden, verbatim: "I want you to meet the junta that actually runs DC. We've already decided who the keynote speaker for this fundraiser should be. Your husband."
Jessica: "I'll talk to him about it, but I'm sure..."
Mrs. Walden: "That's not what I said, maggot."

Dana takes a turn around the library, marveling at elephant-foot planters and a dartboard of Nancy Pelosi's face, before a trapdoor opens in the fireplace and Finn Walden jumps out.

Dana: "The hell?"
Finn: "What? I was just coming to say hi. You really are the worst. Anyway, you're like famous at school now..."
Dana: "For calling Tad a douche?"
Finn: "No, everybody does that. It was the part where you claimed your dad was a Muslim. That's, quote, a brand-new kind of crazy."
Dana: "The dean called my mom. She was even less amused than generally."
(He frames her, letterboxed, with his hands.)
Finn: "I'm picturing you in a burka."
(Her middle finger creeps up into the frame. They are cute.)


Saul: "For the sake of America, David, I'm trying to verify this story of this lady."

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